The Knowhere Guide

Eating and Drinking in Penrith, Cumbria*

Penrith, Cumbria Pubs, Cafes, Coffee Shops and Restaurants

Food

• Cagneys is the better Indian in town no matter what you infidels think.
• Yeltzis kebab shop........mmmmmm kebabs
• Mcdonalds! Watch the smackheads work for their fix.
• Golden city chinese take away
• Penrith has the best chip shops in England! lol (not)
• Yeliz and his fifteen kids, the best kebab in the world
• cagneys
• King Mike at the Crafty Baker is God. Anything he makes tastes like heaven in pastry. Just pop into the Devonshire arcade, and try anything.
• You name it and you can can buy it. As long as its chips, scones or mutton.
• CHINKY CHINESE...BELONGING TO KEV LI (GOLDEN CITY). BRILLIANT FOOD SERVED BY THE FAMILY OF BREEZE BLOCKS.
• Yeliz's takeaway - watch out for the Environmental Health Inspector who has his own office above the shop. You cannot beat the Little Chippy for some quality scran when you're out on the piss. Make sure to eat them in the Bandstand
• The Crafty Baker, pie shop of the Gods.
• Cagneys Tandoori Indian Restaurant serves excellent cusine
• Cagney's Tandoori is the best of the indian restaurants
• Bad food at twice the price!
• KING FRIED CHICKEN BABY!!! GET YOUR SELF THERE AND MEET ROLAND AND GEORGE!!!
• As your average Penrithian loves nothing more than a good meal of cholestrol and fat, numerous chip shops and take-aways are located around the town.
• The Taste Of Bengal restuarant has dead dogs in their bins. They offer a wide range of dead dog dishes, such as Poodle Platter, Corgi Curry, and Chitzu Vindaloo. Take a friend you don't like, just make sure you have the omlette with the chunky chips. So you won't die.
• PIZZA PIATO-accept no imitations
• Bewicks is very nice for lunches. A bit on the side is good for dinners, there's writing on the walls
• Birketts pie shop and The little chippy, they make great fish and chips!!
• Giannis Italian, Chataways Bistro, Toppos Giorgos, Passespartout are worth a visit and Ive heard that A Bit on The Side is nice if a little expensive.

Pubs

• again, absolutley shit loads of public houses, all serve under age drinkers, most quite old and need doing up, just like the Board and Elbow, which was mysteriously burnt down earlier on this year, mmmmmmmmmm
• The in place to be at the moment is "The Warehouse". Been open a few months now but still a favourite with everyone - you even have to queue to get in on Saturday - worse queues than Dukes and the Gloucester!
• WOOLPACK POSSEY 4EVA
• Dukes
• if you want a good night then get to the castle hotel. wendy is the best person in the world, and she always has a smile, no matter how she feels. free pool and jukebox tues and thurs. pub quiz every second tuesday, with booby prizes and a drinks round. no thrills live on friday november 3rd. 2 huge screens to watch football, and also the best pint in penrith, as voted by the owners of jennings, whitbread, scottish and newcastle etc.
• The Warehouse the new pub in town has taken away a lot of the trade from the other pubs, but the New Vic still manages to set up a new bar 'Stateside' and well it certainly is a state! how long did it take u to build that what 3 days the paint would hardly be dry! YOUR JUST BEING GREEDY!!!!
• The waverley is a cracking boozer plenty of crack on a sunday afternoon with the footie boys:choppy,woffie,scotty,damo,flash,booze,and the lads and a pretty damn fine pint as well. Gino the landlord is a massive liverpool fan and always talking footie. Try Mad Erics food its bob on.
• the stateside is crap, but the warehouse is buzzin, but for a good time there is a good barmaid in the Royal
• The Castle Hotel has free pool and juke box on a tuesday and thursday but it has never been the same since Jesus look alike quit. It has some fresh faced clients but they just hang around the pool table even when there is about 15 of them.
• The Board and Elbow has burnt down. BOLLOCKS! That firebomb was meant for the STATION. That's the last time I employ someone from QEGS.
• the best pub is the castle, although it isnt as good as it was when the tattieman (raymond) spent his ENTIRE LIFE drinking and betting on the horses!
• Okay, a BRADY here, replying to your kindness of placing us in the Entertainment section. We are all very flattered and glad that our lives serve the purpose of making all your lives joyful, just by watching us! How kind! One question though, one minute we're outstanding virgins and the next, we're slags. Could someone please inform us of which one we are. Thanks and I'm sure we'll be seeing you soon, you know running up to you in Blues, screaming your names and everything.....
• The Station Hotel, water hole to the best lads in town. If you can play pool go here because it has the best table in town and if you think you good enough the best players to compete against. Best on a sunday because of the footy and the general crack. Was better than it is now because of one lad who has gone to live somewhere else a bit hotter, you'll know who I'm talking about eh! Home to Micky Moto, and a lass who can eat loads of chips.
• What? How would i know about pubs and the like, i mean i am only 16. oh well...Yes loads of em, as has already been said it has been in the record books, cos it had so many. That doesnt mean they are any good though, beware the Waverly on thursday, lest your ears be assaulted by Twed's and occasionally Rufus's Kareoke.
• DUKES ALWAYS GOOD TO MEET FOLK YOU HAVNT SEEN IN A WHILE AND GOOD FOR A DANCE TOO. THE NEW VIC...COUPLE OF SLAPPERS BEHIND THE BAR (VIC HENDERSON)BUT APART FROM THAT GOOD SOCIALISING PLACE.
• go to the white horse to see Ross on the decks, just dont ask him to play better off alone! but keep your hands away from him, because although he's lovely, he's Nikki's! Be warned...
• Fresh-Faced crowds should head for the Woolpack and not clutter up the decent pubs with their talk of impending GCSE's and whether their parents will let them get a 50cc scooter when it becomes legal. Also, the pubs with the crowds outside are generally the ones that are open later (i.e. you don't have to go to Blues for that last drink after closing)
• Ah, the Station. Bit of a box really, but the group of people you'll meet there are some of the nicest in Penrith. Except the boozed up football fans, natch. The Brady Bunch, if one is to use the vernacular, (look it up Sian)... well, they do seem to irritate certain people, but REALLY, posting insults on here is a bit lame don't you think? In my humble opinion, a perfectly lovely 'bunch' of people, and I'd be happy to have any one of them run up to me in Blues and scream my name out. Ahem. You know who you are. And probably, who I am as well by now, so I'd better draw this to a close. Yeeees... best pub? Have to be the Miners Arms for genuine low grade indyness and having the best jukebox in town. (Not saying much, mind), or try the Waverly, for that authenticly awful Kareoke experience. Good pool table, mind.
• The station -as i said before is an excellent pub. Despite what my parents think
• The new vic is the place to be! The station hotel is now a total shit holw where all the 16 year old muppets go (formaly known as "the bradys") The new vic has a wide range of sexy shooters, great tunes and a lot of hot totty!
• If your looking for a gorgous barmen of man girls,I personally recommend the guys at the General Wolf or the 6'2" barman at the Dog 'n' Duck with the shaven head who refuses to tell me his name(but pulls a good one if you know what I mean!)
• The Dog and Duck is a good place to pull totty.If your not fussy about where they've been.
• plenty just need a decent forward modern thinking manager to bring us up to date
• Penrith is graced with several cosy family pubs, amongst them the 'General Wolfe'. By night, Penrith becomes a bustling hub-bub of farmers, farmers and more farmers. DO NOT touch your male friends or talk about anything related to the interests of the opposite sex, lest you desire a homophobic encounter.
• literally hundreds. at least twenty for 15000, most of which have a remarkably low clientel. miners arms has good live bands and gino at the waverley is a star
• The minors arm is full of goths and weird pep that have crawled out of the coffins from the nearby cemetrys. Try the white horse for live DJ-ing. Ross Pigg is normally found Dj-in on a Sat nite.
• Come to the station hotel and meet the brady bunch all known for their outstanding virginitys.
• The station hotel, ok it might be full of 16-24 year olds on a saturday night, but Mr Mike Jykes and Mr Mark Bowler are always nice to look at. Mike gives 3 bottles for £1.50, good-crack!!!! but only to his regulars, ie lasses!!!!! Another friendly face is Mr Malcolm Walker, he is a geordie, and also a resident in the station.
• The General Wolfe is the best pub in town.The staff are friendly and the locals are a good set of lads. The Wolfe's Manager Andrew Bateman is a good laugh and takes care of both his regulars and his bar staff. They sell the best beer in town and know how to pour a quality pint of Guinness.
• Enter a pub wearing anything that wasn't purchased in Dorothy Perkins/Burton's - forget it!! You may as well be from Mars!
• The Miner's Arms MUST BE WORSHIPPED. Especially the chipper Geordie barman, who has entertained me so often with his amusing Newcastlian banter.
• The miners arms, the waverly, the grapes, the robin hood, the druids, the grey goat, the lowther, the royal, the grey bull, the glouster, the board and elbow, the whitehorse, the general wolfe, lonsdales, the station, the victoria, the museum, the castle and many more there are lots of these.
• There used to be more pubs in Penrith per head of population than any where else in the country, now we have less in number but the most frequented are (not in any order): Gloucester Arms, White Horse, Board Inn, Two Lions, General Wolfe, Dog and Duck, Lonsdales, Waverley Hotel and the Miners Arms to name but a few.
• Try The Board, General Woolf, The White Horse if you want something a bit calssier try one of the village pubs

Cafes and Coffee Shops

• absolutely sgit loads of them, virtually all of them the same as each other though.
• Narrowgate Coffe Shop. Mars BAr milkshapes par excellence (damn good for any Shappites).
• Theres no good coffee shops around here thats illegal, but if you go to Amsterdam its ok!!!
• A GOOD CHEAP CAFE...MALONES THEY HAVE ACE FOOD AT GOOD PRICES (IF YOU DONT MIND SHARING A ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF HIPPIES AND SALLY BASHERS).
• SPACE CAKES AT WOZZAS WICKED
• The Miners Arms close to Toppers could be said to be a brown cafe seeing as though the young indie fans are always on the stuff.
• lots. this is tourist mecca in summer
• Narrowgate coffee shop, go there for a Milky-Way milkshake!!! they are fab!!!!!

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Last updated: 2008-05-15