The Knowhere Guide

Local Heroes in Clacton, Essex*

Clacton, Essex Famous Residents

Cringing Cult of Celebrity (Famous residents and ex-residents.)

• denzil from only fools is a local
• Sade Adu.
• Force & Stlyles ( Dj's who wrote tracks such as Heart of Gold and Pretty green eyes)
• I used to deliver the Evening Gazette to John & Yoko in 1982-83. They used to live on Marine Parade in a block of flats next to East Cliff Rec. They might still be there for all I know, still living under assumed names. If anyone can check it out I would be grateful as the courts have ordered me not to go within 24 miles of the place
• Look folks, Marc Bolan is from Clacton. You notice I don't say was 'cause the guy has been living here since his "death" in 1977. I know you see 'cause I rent a bedsit to him and regularly hear him and his band playing in his room. Word on the street is that he will be playing the Rocking Horse in November 2003.
• There was a woman who used to go to County High school who is now famous and I know what house an ex Fools and Horses actor lives in not that I would tell, that would be bad!
• John Planet D.J and world famous breakdancer - you aint seen nothing like it in your life!!!
• Now hear me well you children. I won, run and run the website known as www.marcbolanfacts.com and I can happily inform you that Mac Bolan (born Marcy Tootles in Hamshire 1865) is indeed from Clacton. Why the hell in hell would anyone want to lie about this? Just shut up you pippers
• I am the Webmistress of marcbolan.com and I felt compelled to post a correction here. Please visit the "Depth Charge!" site at marcbolan.com for scans of legal documents to support this information. Marc Bolan was not born in Clacton but in Hackney to Jewish parents on September 30, 1947. His real name was Mark Feld and he is most definitely not buried in a Catholic cemetery. He died on September 16, 1977 and his funeral arrangements took place at Golders Green Crematorium. Cordially, Natalie McDonald
• No one's mentioned Peter Brough - there's a road named after him. He was a ventriloquist who had a dummy called archie andrews - his shows were on the radio in the late 50's. I thought he was good until he did a television show.
• What do you mean Marc Bolan lived here...He was born in Wales and sung a song about shark infested soup
• CHARLIE DRAKE.SADE.
• I believe no one who has achieved anything has ever decided to live in Clacton. Even Sade who was mediocre at best was too good for this place.
• Jeff Goldblum lives in Clacton and preaches from a bread box his theories on chaos thoery.
• I think Pat and Frank Butcher (Eastenders) used to visit Clacton for their summer breaks. Don't know why though.
• Emma Bunton's Nan & Grandad
• Probably some eastender has visted or lived here. Oh sade lived here.
• I heard that one time Blue Peter presenter Ian Baker lived here in 1976 and build a house made of picnic baskets to celbrate winning most hairy map
• Eastenders film here quite regulary - everyone seems to run away to Clacton cos its that great!
• Denise van outem's Aunties live here
• Famous Clactonite Shada once lived here, and decribed it as being "full of old peep holes and logged it". Olympic chatterer Turvid McLynshley used to strip down to his under crackers in Slaggers and so did big breasted page three bird Jordan, who used Clacton sand to fill her breasts with giving it "a more natural feel" than Marmite
• Richard Starkey once took a piss in my front garden. My dad gave him a sharp clip round the ear. Chris Rea once took the piss out of my front garden. My dad gave him a sharp spike in the eye.
• DARREN DAY!!! Entertainer Womaniser extraordinaire
• I HAVE HEARD THAT MARC BOLAN WAS BORN IN CHAFFLEY AND NEITHER CLACTON OR HACKENY. CAN ANYONE VERIFY THIS? MY FRIEND TOLD ME IT WAS SO AND HE HAS NEVER LIED TO ME BEFORE. ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR OF SOMETHING? IF YOU WANT SOME PROOF, APPARENTLY THERE IS A BLUE SIGN OUTSIDE THE HOUSE HE LIVED IN BEFORE HE LEFT HOME. PERHAPS THE SOURCE YOU GOT IT FROM IS LYING? I ALSO BELIEVE THAT MARLON BRANDO WAS BORN HERE IN 1923. AS WAS BILL OWEN, JEFFERY ARCHER AND DAVID BAILEY, BUT NOT THE QUEEN OR FREDDIE MERCURY. THESE RUMOURS MUST STOP. I'M FED UP OF YANKY TOURISTS SAYING "GEE FELLA, DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE QUEENS BIRTHPLACE IS?"
• And in the East London suburb of Hackney, a working-class Jewish couple, Simeon and Phyllis Feld, were expecting a child. Phyllis worked days at a fruit stand in Soho while Simeon worked at various odd jobs including cosmetic salesman and truck driver. On September 30th, 1947, the couple gave birth at Hackney General Hospital to a son and they named him Mark. I took this from the OFFICIAL MARC BOLAN site to settle this argument.He was NOT born in Clacton, nor even in 1946. I`m no troublemaker, I knew the family.
• Sorry son. I don`t know how old you are ......I`m 50, the same age as Marc would be now and I`m a born and bred East Londoner who actually knew the man when he was young. I suggest you dial `Marc Bolan` into any search engine and you`ll see you are mistaken. Hackney born and bred.....Family name `Feld`
• The Insane Picnic were a legendary local rock band in the early 80's born out of the ashes of Frenzid Melon & Spasmodic Caress (who themselves recorded for 4ad). Apparently guitarest Peter Ashby still lives in the town as does bassist Owen Turley. There was quite a local rock scene at that time, other bans were Blank Screens, Instant People, Handsome Brutes, Sharon Stylo & the Dollyboys, Ravin' Auto, Two Plus One to name but a few.
• MARC BOLAN WAS BORN "MARC BOLAN" IN CLACTON AND NOT ANYWHERE ELSE. ME THINKS YOU ARE A TROUBLE MAKER WITH TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS.
• Earl Saxmundham, inventor of the little-used Saxmundham cloth was born here in 1762, as was sixties dancing legend Mahatma Stevens
• CORRECTION..........MARC BOLAN WAS BORN "MARK FELD" IN HACKNEY EAST LONDON IN 1947.
• Vivien Woodward played 66 times for England and scored 7 goals against France once.
• Apart from Andy Bells brother, it also recently emerged that Tom Jones spent a year of his youht here when he was twelve and so did Tim Brooke Taylor who at the time was married to Prunela Scales
• The most famous Clacton celebrites are Adam Ant and Marc Bolan. Bolan was born here in 1946 and played many times at the Pricess Theatre before making it big with T-Rex. Ant also played locally in a band called `Mangtra` before leaving and enjoying succes with Adam and the Ants. He went solo in 1983 ans left for America shortly afterwards. he has since moved back to Clacton and lives at 38 Kingsman Drive, Clacton. Bolan is burried in St John church cemetry.
• Those blokes who wrote `Hoggenheimer` the brilliant sit com that the BBC rejected but then cried about
• Sade, you know the soul bird, used to live in Clacton. In an interview she once described the place as "being full of crumbling dog shit and old people".

Buskers, Street Entertainers

• None, clacton is not cool enough to have such people. but we do have a large collection of refugees who vacate the Royal Hotel and many of these Asylum Seekers have the cash to go to the pub which i find weried.
• who cares get a job
• A couple of Big Issue sellers, but they can't even pronounce Big Issue clearly, so everyone tells them to fuck off.
• Whenever walking down a street in Clacton (perhaps having returned to visit your mother after an operation on her gloves) you can rest assured you will bump into someone you used to go to school with. And if you're dead lucky they may shower you in welcomes by saying things like "Oh look, it's that bender from school", or the truly delicious and minimalistic insult "faggot". This is why Clacton has got its thoroughly deserved reputation as being a centre for wit and excellence, not one for being full of moody old tits who dispise those who do anything remotely abnormal (such as drink Irn Bru, whistle the musics from Logans Run or wear mittens).
• A mention must be given of the tourist information office which, despite the theft of nearly all the fliers for "The Laughter Party" and "Richard Digance", has been growing in strength. What a service they provide.
• appear late at night, just throw a couple of quid on the passenger seat!!!!
• There is a couple who beg (not street entertainers) but say they are homeless, there not they live in Flatford Drive, they beg outside Argos and the Saturday market they share the same sleeping bag (so they can have turns each)
• Due to care in the commuinty, clacton boasts some of the most intersteing street entertainers in the world. Be careful though, if taunted they can become violent.

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

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Credits

Last updated: 2006-10-19