The Knowhere Guide

The Local Music Scene in Clacton, Essex*

Clacton, Essex Record Shops and Venues

Record Shops

• magic music in da high street, i tink dats wat its called lol
• Melodies is cool
• The record stall in the dank covered market by the the seafood caravan always had it's bargains whenever the London stores cleared out their unsold warehouse junk.
• high st
• ESSEX DJ of course.
• There's a great shop called Essex DJ by the Warwick Castle site... brilliant for decks, music and all DJing paraphenalia.
• Umm WH Smiths sells music. Ha that's not much better than Woolworths.
• I go to fibbers to listen to the latest rocking party sounds then i bowl on down to woolies because I'm sure thats where they get their cd's from.
• None the whole place is crap and should be bulldozed into the sea apart from Melodys
• Magic Music in the High Street was owned by great guitarist jack jacobs, He has now moved on but the shop has new owners and great new stock.
• "Compilations!" is a shop in Billy Zane Avenue that sells only compilation CDs. Recently a record signing was held there to coincide with the release of "The All Time Best Songs From the 1980s". Guests were Billy Idol, Simon Le Bon and his brother Nick Rhodes, Peggy Lee, Jasper Hewitt, INXS (not the dead one), Julian Lennon, Yazoo and Yazz (Alison Moyet wore a blue dress. Yazz wore exactly the same thing with the end cut off), Feargal Sharkey, Visage (Steve Strange and Rusty Goffe excluded) and Boy Geordie (from the Newcastle cover band Un-Cultered Club)
• "Haiden Plum" is a place selling instruments to those who are not very good at music. Thus the instruments on sale are; drums. You know, drums
• can not really remember many record shops wh smith had a few or meodies in old road had some but mainly computer games better to borrow of mates and record it
• What record shops?!?!?!
• I once got a copy of "Coz I Luv You" By Slade in a small shop in one of Clactons many streets. It cost me 50p and was accompanied by a free bag of sugar.
• Melodies - Fantastic. Cheap too
• Old time band leaders like glennn Millrrrer, Dennis Rutters and Matt Bianco opened up a small shop in 1939 called "Swing Music For Swinging Cats". It attracted wife swapping felines who frequented the premises, chased away by the swearing Al Banpile. People laughed at his (then) silly accent. He went quite mad. . . . that will always be in my mind to haunt me.
• R.I.P. Time Records, closed after many a dismal year in the covered market. Their only income came from the countless Adam Ant records purchased one leather-jacketed man. One Marc Bolan had a successful signing session there on his 50th birthday.
• you are 'avin a laugh
• H ah ha, ha ha ha. No no no. Ha ha
• Whatever happened to Falling A ?
• Next to Chris's Records and opposite Marc's Record is Richards Record which sells music by the following artists and the following artists only: Lindusfarm, Captain Beefheart and Paul Cadens Revolving Machine Head.
• Another record shop has opened up, Chris's Records, opposite Marc's Record shop off the Chaffley Road. It specialises in Samba, Bhangra, Doo-wop, Barber shop and Industrial Noisecore.
• You have forgotten to mention the new record shop "Marc's record shop". It was opened recently by Andy Bells brother and he visits it regularly. Situated on the end of the new Chaffley Road, it gave away a free CD to every customer on it's first day of trading. What a shop.
• I found a copy of the John Lennon album `Milk and Honey` in a shop called Deck Set in Cla. . . oh no, thats in London. I did once by a Marc Almond album from Tresure Chest which came with a free bag of vomit and wasp semen
• Tresure Chest can supply all of your music needs.
• There are no good record shops, no good clothes shops, no skate, or bike shops either. Once again you have to go to Colchester.

Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars

• just to let you know that efxfm is now mission fm but we are still live on saturday nites because our transmitter is still hidden in fibbers cos someone in management likes us!!
• efxfm runs live from fibbers on saturday nites, yeh we got our transmitter on there and no-one noticed cos we got someone on the inside!!
• Its 2005 & Rumours finally has a new carpet. At last you can safely stand without fear of your feet getting stuck to the floor with years of spilt beer, flem and God-only knows what else that was soaked up in to it. The club however is still CRAP!!! Rather starngely the other nite the Mangeress appeared quite late on and seeing that rather than the normal 14 people in there on the awful Thursday nites, there were now 15!! She looked very smug, I hadn't the heart to tell her that there were always more people in the queue at anytime for Fibbers!
• why does everyone keep slagging off fibbers, itsvery entertaining. Me and my mate went there last week and it was VERY entertaining! especially doing a threesome, he was good, shame about his fat a***, how we laughed! posher than rumours where they do it in the bogs, lovely!
• Fibbers is far better than rumours and is a great club! The staff are fun and fit and the music is good. Is not small - its cosy!!
• Rumours has always been a great place to get a glass smashed in your face.
• the two clubs of clacton fibbers and rumours get slagged off because there not as good as others, but it doesnt mean you cant have a good time in them i often go to both if im bit poor and cant afford taxi back from colchester. Fibbers is more of a lively bar than a club in my opinion, rumours is more lively however has a reputation for being bit dodgey but i have never had n e problems whilst in there. and if all else fails go to the rocking horse bar very mixed people but rather young drinkers.
• Rumours - lots of drink, good size, normally full of girls, very easy to Pull perfect way to end a night on the tiles
• Planet's herb emporium is a great club cum hang out spot
• rumours (many a fight) or fibbers (no fucking air conditioning)
• Rumours!!! :-p
• Everyone seems to be slagging off Rumours but let me tell you. Two London DJ's have earmarked Rumours for the start of what is going to be the most talked about night in essex. The Birth of The Funky Pussy takes place soon and will be announced on their web site. www.thefunkypussy.co.uk. its going to be big and glamorous. one not to be missed.
• If going to clubs in Clacton beware of the dreaded Clacton Clap. Transmitted through the air by the smell of the natives underwear. If you smell a cheesy gusset get out!.... Er come to think of it best not to go to this area at all.
• There's one club called Rumours but you have to look right to get in for the 18 and over but my friends get in and their only 16. There is an under 13 thing but that's supposed to be rubbish, mainly cause you can't get drunk.
• I came back to good ol' clackers for the summer hols from uni and did the rounds, like you do.Went in rumours, still shite! and fibbers.What have they done in there.I had to put on my sunglasses, I thought I was having a bad trip, from all the drugs at uni.It looks like Austin Powers toilet!!
• Fibbers is now the new GAY BAR in clacton.. lovely decor!!
• Fibbers!! hahaha need I say more! Sign my report please sir!!!
• fibbers! yeh you know the one! they use the barstaff for djs now. I know because my mate told me at school the other day! Tom peppers, is that the OK corral outside!!
• Com'on, give Fibbers a break, the dancefloor is big enough for at least 3 whole people. Rumours on a Thursday Nite is one of the best places to be. Good 'pop' music, friendly and fun! (or if u want a punch up, and listen to techno, hard house whatever and then get stabbed outside afterwards go on a Friday nite)
• Line-dancing
• Rumours 1 of 2 better than fibbers as u can move Fibbers quite good can't move have to be at least 14 to get in
• Please note; as per usual, the clubs in Clacton have been renamed. Fibbers is now called "Anus" and Rumours is called "Chip N Dale; Rescue Rangers". . .
• Bring back oscars!!
• This is where Clacton really comes into its own. No other town on earth (save Chaffley) has quite as dire a choice for night entertainment (apart from Chaffley), not including Chaffley that is. The Pill, The Rams Arm, Bullets, Yan Can Cook, Dongs With Dunbar and of course Donkey Porn are all rubbish clubs filled with dirty little men and women, whom I suspect have an underlying depression they wish to tackle, if only they could realise it was there. This depression manifests itself in many ways, but the most common is the wearing of shit clothes (nicely ironed-brightly coloured shirts, white/beige/cream trousers and a cropped head), regular appearances in a few carefully selected clubs/pubs and a fascination with repeatedly tearing around the town centre in shit cars (an activity the French call La plage de la tosseur, or ‘the sea wankers’)
• You'd think being a seaside resort, Clacton would cater for the youngish clubber. I would strongly advise you to 'stay away' from both fibbers and rumours. They're absolute dives!!!!!
• The club scene in Clacton is limited. You have Fibbers and you have Rumours. And that's it! Honestly. Let's deal with Fibbers. You are greeted at the door by the Mafia and girls in short skirts can easily jump the queue. Once inside, it is fair to say that my front room is bigger than said club but,at least you know what to expect, the music is good and it's easy to pull. Some people are even old enough to buy a drink at the bar. Rumours, is bigger so you can move on the dance floor. It is also the only club which is done up every year and never looks any different. There are good drinks offers but you can only get served if you're personal friends with the bar staff (like me!). They advertise some top djs and some of them even turn up! But, I wouldn't look twice at any of the podium dancers even if I was a boy! Finally, the best place to go out in Clacton, is Dukes in Chelmsford.
• Rumours on Thursday is great, were else on earth can the DJ get the Clacton druken youths to do the Oky dokey "kness bent arms streached rah rah rah"
• plenty to choose from back in the 80 s oscars on the pier was the place i spent many a drunk night with mates there and then up the hill to frankies to where there was always a selection of fine ladies to play with
• Yay!!! Fibbers!! I have been going there since I was only 15 and it hasn't changed in the slightest! I have now escaped Clacton, and gone to university, but can still be found in there every now and again. Rumours!! Wow, what can I say... hasn't changed much either in the last few years, but you can still have fun there!
• Careful you might catch something
• "Is It You Philip?" is a club for those not sure of their own identity. They can go and be asked by the bar staff "Is it you Philip?" and then they can think about it while drinking mint flavour booze. Only those who are unsure of themselves may enter.
• "Roomies" is good for vigorous searches on entry, but "Fibres" is a fine disco with highly enjoyable disk-jockies. Noel Edmunds and Dave Lee Travis are regulars. For the best night out you must travel to "Kings" near near Cholchester. It is free before 2o'clock in the afternoon and you will have much fun. Esspecially on a friends birthday!
• fibbers for the locals who wanna late drink and wattever, rumours for the out fo towners and sheep!!!
• Why has no-one yet mentioned the divine places of Fibbers or Rumours, eh? Always handy places to get ripped off, get pissed and pick up a dodgy person, who you later find out knows everyone you do.
• The Station Inn (used to be opposite the railway station) was a GREAT place to pick up someone else's other half. They even used to run an advert in the local paper for their Friday and Saturday night discos with the phrase "the place to come to and leave your lover". The floor was always awash with split booze (I hope!) and ringside seats were available to watch the fights that broke out between the single guys who had just kissed a girl at the bar the the husband/boyfriend of said girl who didn't realise that you weren't actually supposed to bring your other half here. Aah, the memories...
• The Town Hall in Clacton does a weekly rave-up in the Essex suite. This is not well advertised due to intense over-subscription. It is best to turn up early, though be warned, due to Remploy regulations, the council were forced to employ acutely schizophrenic door staff who might claim not to know anything about a rave-up. Fear not, just politely but firmly announce your intention to go inside and let no man or women stop you. This is not a wind-up. Honest.
• The recent addition to Clactons night life is the club "Mangtra". It plays Jazz and Pop hits. Its not very good but I though you might like to hear about it anywho.

Live Music Venues

• the rocking horse - ocassionaly has some great bands but they normally suck, though look for the monday night karoke funny as hell
• rocking horse (ie, the gothic horse) the bands are shit
• Rocking Horse Bar, Marine Parade East.
• Bands? arnt they wot you use on the pier to use the rides!!
• ROCKING HORSE at the ROYAL HOTEL is GOOD When "SHADY DEAL" Play there.
• the nelson for rock on live music and the rocking horse always good music lots of beer and rock chicks
• Rumours has loads of top DJs and MCs, with quite a few well-known people playing there. Tom Peppers also has quite a few live bands playing.
• Rocking Horse as it used to be a great dive but now is just a dive. The decor used to be quaint, but now is just crap, but my friend - Richard - DJs in there so give it a go! Tom Peppers is not bad for a live band every now and again.
• That quite quite famous man John Kegger opened "Sand On The Hun" in 1988 as a centre of musical excellence. All Germanic people in the area can come in, have sand thrown at them and then settle down for a night of rocking good music. Local man Patrick Wygome says "I like it man, you know what i'm saying?" You bet ya cock we do Patrick
• "The Rocking Horse" pub nas a billing of the very worst in local entertainment. Second only to "The Nelson", which was the birthplace of Richard Bransons favourite band...THE NOISE!
• rocking orse for the lates local bands
• The 600 club in the Little Britain district of Clacton offers a bar with full beer preparing facilities, allowing patrons to sup a glass of beer or other spirits from either bottled varities or special "on-tap" brands. There are also seats which allow patrons to sit at their leisure. On thursdays, a man comes and plays "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits. Twice.
• The Ed Sullivan Theater
• Music scene is very healthy in Clacton. Loads of local bands. Loads of pubs to accomodate them. The best two are 'The Lord Nelson' and 'The Rocking Horse' (open til 12). There are some really good studios too. Very competitive prices and loads of top equipment. What's best is the abundance of drummers and bass players...very cool indeed. Very ROCK!!

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Last updated: 2006-10-19