The Knowhere Guide

Shops and Hobbies in Clacton, Essex*

Clacton, Essex Clothes, Magazines, Art, Galleries, Hobbies

Clothes Shops, Shoe Shops, Fashion and Bargains

• new look n loads of lame ones lol
• Mackies outsize and tatoos in old road is where most go
• all sports
• There's a few clothes shops; New Look, Dorithy Perkins, Impressions and then theres the places like marks and sparks for the older people, yes the older people. hmmmm!
• JM Fashions - the best shop in Clacton. Great service and better clothes!
• QD is the cheap and cheerful alternative to the "other" shops that provide overpriced "fashionable " items for egotistical sad "fashion Victims" that spend all their money just to fantasise that they are better people for it. You have to be size 10 or over 80 years old to obtain clothing at any Boutique In Clacton
• 'Impressions' for that cheap, market look. 'QD' if you are sponging off the government. 'Maxines' when you should kill yourself.
• we now have Clacton Common or now renamed as Clacton Shopping Village. Still full of crappy clothes and useless outlet stores. How oftern do you require sented candles and camping gear? Also a shop dedecated to the wonders of Sunglasses, hello erm, Clacton? Sunny????
• bought all clothes in colchester
• Many go to JM fashions near to the Woolwich for clothing, especially for grungy gear.
• What clothes shops - New Look, Dorothy Perkins and Impressions for the girls and Burtons for the boys - Go to COLCHESTER!!!
• Due to one of these famous unrepealed by-laws, clothes in clacton must be able to tow a car when tied twixt front and rear of two cars. You know, like in the Levis advert. The one in the laudrette - which i have seen reconstructed in a Clacton laundrette. Stop it. Russ Conner, you know who i'm talking about.
• We are all naked in Clacton. Our willies are huge so we are not ashamed!
• only for women who look like rakes , not many in clacton
• I only wear paper and there not much here for lil ol me
• Another of those lovely by-laws has made it law to dress nekkid on Sundays between 3pm and 4pm. All those with firm young athletic bodies go nekkid while the old, saggy and ugly must hide away in large, sweaty, underground bunkers designed by the creator of Thunderbirds, Gerry Adams. Whilst there, we won't teach them poetry and rubbish, we'll teach them science! We'll start all over again!
• Woolworths sells special cat clothes (I think) that are small enough to fit on cats, so you can pretend they're little people you own...
• The best clothes shop in Clacton is the recently opened Kookai outlet in Hobgoblin Lane. Free butter is given to the first customers on the first Sunday of each month with an E in it. They also sell good clothes like the recently outlawed Handle bar Swingleredy Hand Claps. It was opened by rock star Sting on the 11th hour of the 11th month, 1918
• I like hens

Arts, crafts and such (Anything from pukka art galleries to craft shops. Trendy and twee both welcome.)

• There's one art shop near the pier by the crazy golf thing but it's never open. That's very helpful! I don't know about others, don't really notice any.
• There is an art shop in some street or toerh that has a very good picture of a ladybird in its window.
• The "Harding Gallery" often has fine exhibitions of photocopied body parts.

Magazine and Comic Shops

• "Ye Applebys Comix Shopppe" is a pathetic attempt to run an olde worlde comic shop. Stupid boy Reinhard Appleby doesn't realise they didn't have comics in ye olde times does he? Div head. His stupid grinning assistant Crish Hardynge stands there in his stupid pants, wearing dark glasses and sleeping on a chair. Manager Myrc Wigghem says "We may all be as thick as shit, but at the end of the day, we where clever enough to put machine gun nests outside the shop entrance. When the revolution comes, then who'll be laughing".
• There are many Comic shops. I find the Square Deals very ammusing. As for Magazines, there is little or no trade for ammunition in this area.

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Credits

Last updated: 2006-10-19