The Knowhere Guide

Eating and Drinking in Calne, Wiltshire*

Calne, Wiltshire Pubs, Cafes, Coffee Shops and Restaurants

Food

• Picannte (ignore spelling)cafe by the river near the library! Hate the people, one of them came out and threatened one of my mates with a meat cleaver. That's the real truth of calne.
• pizzeria!
• Maxim's in Church Street is the best Chinese!!! It's across the road and up a bit from Wong's. I've been to Wong's once, that's enough and i'm never going back again. Placed an order at Maxim's, went to Wong's to pick it up by accident, and they kept telling me my order was nearly ready. Kept me waiting for 50 mins and I left. they never had my order in the first place since I didn't place it there are didn't even have the courtesy to tell me that there was another Chinese up the road. Maxim's does the best food, thank you, I'm going eat there for the rest of my life - v friendly staff as well!
• charcoal grill
• Maxim's in Church Street is the best. I used to go to Wongs, but once I tried Maxims i never went back to Wongs. If you don't know where it is, its diagonally opposite the Conservative. Go up Church St, pass Wongs and its on the left. Do great Fish and Chips as well. Looks aesthetically pleasing and modern after that refurbishment.
• The Jolly Huntsman in Kington St Michael is very disappointing - don't even contemplate ordering the lamb noisette at £9.95 - no right-minded cook would serve up what we were given to eat just this week. Better off in Safeways Superstore cafe....
• the bird in the phoenix fish bar in Phelps parade is well fit - 25 stone and covered in chip grease mmmmm
• out of trough
• St. Marys sch food is national world wide known for its delicatable food, which is made especially for the girls... who most of the time won't touch the damn stuff!
• The White hart hotel. The owners are italian. Just try the tirimisu it's the best.
• The charcoal grill. (don't annoy the staff or you may get an extra topping on your kebab!!!)
• The Spice of Bengal has to be the best indian we've ever tasted!
• Respect to Wong's House in Church street! Good old Mr Wong knows how to cook a good Chow Mein!!
• Nice chinese take away, lovely!!!
• The Marden cafe. Try a breakfast with extra mushrooms, theyre great!!!
• 'Patch of Blue' cafe where you can enjoy a relaxed, unhurried beverage or lunch in a 'Miss Marple' environment. Outside in the summer months, t'is most pleasant and convivial.
• See under pubs! Takeaway / delivered - the kebab shop opposite the Post Office is good, cheap and deliver free
• Williams Street has a new chippy, and a new sandwich/deli type place (next door to each other!). The bakers in the main drag towards Oxford Road is now closed - the bread was 'orrible anyway.. The Pizza place opposite the Liberal Club is now closed down.
• Joy Balti - pretty good considering it's the only Balti in Calne!
• There's a greasy spoon caff next door top Somerfields.
• I'm told there is a coffee shop in Church street that isn't "oiky" (!!).
• Joy Balti House in main drag, opposite the brass pigs. Very popular - food seems OK and not expensive. Things are looking up in Calne.
• Pizza take away on the beginning of Oxford Road, opposite the Liberal club. Adequate; typical take away pizza IMO.
• Kebab Van in the evenings in the Pippin Car Park. This bloke has been serving in Calne for years, and used to park outside the PO until the new kebab shop opened. I feel sorry for him.
• Kebab shop opposite the Post Office.
• Fish & Chips in the arcade thing.
• Bakers just down from the Chinese above, and also in the arcade thing.
• Chinese in main drag towards Oxford Road - Fish & Chips here is actually pretty good; open early on a Sunday.
• Another Chinese in Church Street - never used it.
• Fish & Chips: Chines in Church Street; OK - nothing special. Last time I had haddock from there it was horrible.

Pubs

• This is the Jolly Huntsman. We are a friendly and traditional village pub offering a well kept choice of real ales, food served every lunchtime and evening from extensive lunch, evening and specials menus, live music on the first Wednesday of every month, en suite bed and breakfast rooms, open log fire in Winter and a warm welcome.
• the jolly huntsman just outside of chippenham in a small pretty village called 'kington st micheal' serves the best lunches ever i went there not that long ago and i had a tuna steak ontop of vegtables. i think this oub should be rewarded the best food award and it should go straight to the best chef in the world stu. b i thoink the comment below is arragant and out of order this pub has lush food and other people just have different tatse. this pub offers a resturant and a smoking zone with nice village company around the bar the chef is social and very sweet. we take in pride in out work and we do ok. x
• St. George's.
• White heart, the miller used to be the best back in the day!
• hollies brew house
• THe kings arms. a brilliant place. especially if you go there in between your exams. (quite a fit bar tender)
• The jolly miller is wank - you losers
• NO KIDS AT THE MILLER!!!! Finally the dream has come true under the new managment. its clean and looks cool new pool tables, new table football, excellent beer.music licence is coming expect BIG bands every month and also up and coming local bands. open mic nights and pub quiz nights are already up and running if your going out in calne you've gotta check out the new miller 203 quemerford!!!!
• Not worth visting really.
• Did ya all know the Jolly Millar now has new landlords. The place is a tip and needs lots of graft work and peeps are working hard. It will be a good place for decent people ( over 5.1 and above legal age) to get a decent pint in good surroundings and with decent people running it.......
• Again,the Weakest Link in Calne has been voted out! It's Mark of the Jolly Miller! What a loser! Goodbye!
• They are all crap
• Shame about the london Rd changing its name eh?
• The Soho in Studley (just outside Calne) has an amazing young magician working there on Sunday lunchtimes.
• If your visiting Calne please avoid the Miller, not every-one in Calne is of the six-toed variety.
• again the miller is pretty good, as is the king george (now), the ivy (hedddington) the talbot, the bug and spider, the london road inn and the wheatshief if there is a good band.
• The London Road Inn used to be a dive, but its now definitely worth a look, great line in microwave burgers!
• the miller rules, mark the landlord rocks. the white hart is also reasonable in an-old-man-sit-on-your-own-in-silence type way
• The Jolly Miller isn't as bad as everyopne sais, Ive never had a fight there and the music is realy rather good. They also have a large screen and sky TV
• The Jolly Miller is the local fighting ring. The people that you don't want to meet all go there with the expectation of a fight. But the local band Fulcrum have a great futre, with there 'heavy music' which seems to get the wholr town going.
• Wadworths 6X is the local brew. If you can drink six pints of 'Farmers' Glory' you can get a free crab sandwich.
• The only reason that the Bricklayers was a good lark, is the regulars, they all now drink at the Kings Arms, Good fun pub.
• Jolly Miller @ Quemerford, the landlord is a top geezer!
• Try the King George, top of New Road - excellent food, cooked for you from fresh ingredients. Extremely good and excelent value. Good atmosphere too, specially in winter when you can sit by a roaring fire while waiting for your meal. Cherhill Black Horse - more a restaurant than a pub, but worth a visit for a good meal.
• The King George - The Green, Calne. This place was actually closed down it became so bad. When the present landlady & landlord (Dee & Peter?) took it over there were no windows the toilets were smashed. But now thanks to their had work and determination the George is a wonderful pub. O.K it's pretty basic but it serves a mean Guiness, the regulars are great and Peters cooking is fantastic. A sure fire hit with any pub fanatic - be sure to catch James on the piano on Thursday and Saturday nights, the man is a genius - there's also B&B and a restraunt!
• An award shold be given th the Bricklayers Arms, they sell the finest flat beer in calne & its not cheep.
• As for the Bricklayer Arms the only thing that makes this pub interesting is the locals that form the five'O clock club
• The Talbot has Sky (London Road); the Bricklayers out near Porte Marsh Industrial Estate is friendly. If I wanted a pint in Calne, I wouldn't - I'd go to the Dumb Post at Bremhill (excellent beer), or the Soho on the A4 (good food & beer), or The Ivy at Heddington (beer from the wood, garden, very peaceful)
• All the best pubs are those outside of town. The Ivy at Heddington (five mins) is a good bet - beer from the wood cask!
• As for pubs, try the Bricklayers Arms for a good lark, also the White Hart. Every other pub you can ignore (including that "Trotters" thing).

Cafes and Coffee Shops

• Marden Cafe!!!! I'd rather sandpaper my arse!!!!!!
• The Patch of Blue tea rooms does a mean bacon and brie baguette and many delightful homemade cakes.
• Marden Cafe YUM YUM Squity bum
• Patch of blue. They do lovely snacks and they are very friendly too.
• loads of them.
• Marden cafe is like dining at the Ritz! 1st class service and the cutlery is always spotlessly clean! The food is very nutritious and the woman serving is a sex goddess! Oh I'd recommend it to anyone (wanting tapeworms)
• a few, they're okay, but they don't like students going there!
• patch of blue is cool, but then i'm biased 'cause my freind clare works there!

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Last updated: 2008-06-12