The Knowhere Guide

Going Out in Helston, Cornwall*

Helston, Cornwall Clubs, Music Venues, Cinemas

Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars

• Well there's the joys of Trelawney's, a hotspot for fat bald bouncers. Costly entrance fee considering sticky dance corner experience awaiting you but I must say, many a good night, bumping into to all the people you've ever known at your school, work etc. Plus large supply of young farmers and matlows, such a good mix...
• There are two "clubs" in Helston and they are both uselss. The Fusion Bar is by far the worst. Located above The Godolphin Club (essentailly a working-man's club... but without the work), Fusion resembles a half-hearted wedding disco where only the embarrassing brave the assembly hall of a dance floor. The DJ actually has one of those flashing units that really takes you back to those school discos of your youth - and the music they play is almost as bad! Trelawnies (AKA Big T's) is terrible, it really is. It is, however, nowhere near as bad as the aforementioned Fusion. It plays better music (but only just), has more people (but mostly violent navy types and their tarts), but does have more vomit encrusted on its doorstep and costs more to get in. Avoid them both.
• The Fusion bar,the alternative to Trelawneys. School disco like atmosphere, conversely seems to attract older men and younger ‘women’. Apparently you either love it or hate it. Enough said!
• Trelawneys- fun in small doses There talk of Flambards building a big nightclub which should be amazing
• Trelawney's, the Lady's used to be there, but it closed years ago
• Trelawney's has a tiny little dancing cupboard area.

Live Music Venues

• The Blue Anchor has sadly lost its music liscence and, as such, The Fitz is the only place to hear half-decent live music. Unfortunately, bands do not play there very often. The Red Lion occasionally has a half-hearted folk singer accompanied by a backin track... if you're into that kind of thing!
• Helston has a Brass Band I think?! You'll be waiting a while for anything big and popular!
• Blue Anchor

Cinemas

• Cosy seats but a little bit like being in Bugsy Malone with child staff
• There is just one cinema in Helston, The Flora Centre. It is a small cinema that has recently been overhauled to fit a second screen. It is quite tidy, with large, comfy seats but your viewing will inevitably be ruined by the little scallies throwing popcorn and making noise throughout the film. A regular sized Sprite is my recommended counter-missile to make them shutthefuckup! Heh. Do it.
• The seats are really comfortable! Now has two screens and shows fairly up to date stuff, maybe not the week its out but within a few! Open all week.
• everyone used to go to the one in Penzance, cannot remember it's name, now there is a cinema in helston.. well, i still like the one in penzance, it feels more cinemy - helston is just too smooth
• The newly opened Flora Centre is a bargain at £2.50, but only open Thurs/Fri/Sat and has one film a week. Give it time, it's only been open three months.

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

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Credits

Last updated: 2008-05-07