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Subjects 1 to 20 of 191    next>> Today's messages are highlighted in red
Veganuary. Nearly there. by Buster (Member 10101570) on 27-Jan-2019
U are nearly there now. Just a few more days and u can buy a huge pack of Babybell cheeses and munch like a madman. Or have I missed the point?   
  • Re: Veganuary. Nearly there. by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 28-Jan-2019
    U can keep your baby belles. I'm having a super size donner once the month is out.

  • Re: Veganuary. Nearly there. by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 16-Apr-2019
    Sounds like a great idea, this website is more flaky than a fish with dandruff!

  • Re: Veganuary. Nearly there. by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 26-Apr-2019
    OMG the thought of a super size donner, you know how to make a blokes throat wet. Glad to see the website is back, it seems at the moment its down for 40 days and up for about half an hour......

  • Re: Veganuary. Nearly there. by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 7-May-2019
    That is so people can appreciate what a pukka site it is. 40 days off it gets your fingers itching 4 it 2 come back and hovering over the keyboard 24-7.

  • Re: Veganuary. Nearly there. by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 10-May-2019
    the element of not knowing if it will work or not is what makes it good 4 me. it is a huge plus 2 have a board that is only there 30% of the time. knowhere just gets better & better

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Super moon again by Buster (Member 10101570) on 21-Jan-2019
Did any of u see the super moon last night. I heard it was big and orange but 4 me any moon is super & not just the local one. The only thing is some of Jupiter and Saturn's moons are a bit big and show-offy. Having a moon that is bigger than a planet is a bit much really.   
  • Re: Super moon again by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 21-Jan-2019
    It's flippin silly 2 have all that rock hurtling about doing nothing when a bigger earth would mean more space 2 grow stuff & feed the kids every1 is churning out. No1 thinks ahead & whoever made this solar system wasted a lot of material on pointless moons.

  • Re: Super moon again by Buster (Member 10101570) on 22-Jan-2019
    Really most of what's up there is just balls of burning gas and bits of rock with tons of nothing in between. Total waste of time having all that jazz in the sky when there are people down here with nothing. Seriously why does Saturn need 20 odd moons and poor old mercury and Venus don't even get 1. It is just extravagant.

  • Re: Super moon again by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 22-Jan-2019
    Good point. No1 needs so many moons. I think 4 is about tops. Enough to show u mean serious business without really ripping it.

  • Re: Super moon again by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 24-Jan-2019
    I was wide awake and hanging out of the window with my cellphone freezing my breasts off trying to get a reasonable photo of the super wolf blood moon and I couldn't get a good picture at all. Cellphones are rubbish for photography and my photos looked so bad, I was cussing out of the window and my neighbours probably thought I was demented. The Daily Mail and Daily Express probably said the blood... more >>

  • Re: Super moon again by Buster (Member 10101570) on 27-Jan-2019
    The blood wolf moon sounds bad and dangerous like a couple of Michael Jackson albums. Who makes these names up? Can we have a psycho vampire hellfire moon next. Or a demon raging killer moon. Both would eat the earth 4 brekker and wipe out this arrogant little race they call humans. Speaking of those 2 legged swines, millennials are the worst right. All they do is tear about on BMXs and watch Rent... more >>

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Rival board by Buster (Member 10101570) on 13-Jan-2019
There is a rival board from spammy which seems 2 be coming back. There is actually some really good material on there so if this one is bbc1 get your hides down to the other 1 too cos it's like bbc2 u don't want 2 miss out on fabulous content.   
  • Re: Rival board by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 15-Jan-2019
    If Spammy is the equivalent of BBC2 then direct me to the Channel 5 content. Does anyone actually watch BBC2 and does it have a purpose, do any BBC channels have any purpose?

  • Re: Rival board by Buster (Member 10101570) on 16-Jan-2019
    Babybel is a brand of small snack cheeses that are individually packaged and available in various flavors. It is a product of Le Groupe Bel, a company with roots in the Jura region of France, and started by Jules Bel in 1865.[1] According to a 1987 New York Times article titled "America Beckons to Foreign Foods," Fromageries Bel Inc. (which eventually became Le Groupe Bel) had produced Babybel che... more >>

  • Re: Rival board by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 16-Jan-2019
    Love the way it relates 2 the topic 👍

  • Re: Rival board by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 18-Jan-2019
    The rival board isn’t in any way a threat to us, here in beautiful Ashford - rail gateway to European capitals we talk about high profile topics such as economic growth and financial stability. On the Hamstreet group it’s more combine harvester tyre prices, insecticide and inbred simpletons bickering. If you want to follow gap toothed gypsy farming types then by all means go there but if you w... more >>

  • Re: Rival board by Buster (Member 10101570) on 21-Jan-2019
    I agree that this board is 1 of the best on knowhere which is mostly just filth and verbal and physical abuse. The Babybell cheese post was relevant as I was trying 2 show how annoying adverts are as u asked why we have the BBC so what looked like a bad obsession was a point being made very cleverly. BBC is ad free & not influenced by commerce. That is why it is good.

  • Re: Rival board by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 22-Jan-2019
    3 cheers for buster and his brilliant post 🎉🎉🎉

  • Re: Rival board by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 24-Jan-2019
    You really can't get enough abuse be it physical or verbal, everyone loves to swear and let off steam whether its proper heart felt hatred or just a bit of light hearted fun to wind someone up. I don't give a stuff about combine harvesters or animal feed so big up the town site, the villagers can frig off.

  • Re: Rival board by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 24-Jan-2019
    I also say everyone loves a mouthful of babybell, I don't mind if it's the wax covered ball or the voluptuous strumpet. I'm only human and a good chunky redhead with massive milkers will always get my vote, the Barbara Windsor mannerisms only adds to the beautiful east end charm of the hot sexy lady.

  • Re: Rival board by Buster (Member 10101570) on 27-Jan-2019
    Phally u have never been behind the wheel of a Massey fergussen. U would think different thoughts about the village talk if u had. There was a really cool bloke at a local pub who always talked about farming. I'd pay money just 2 listen 2 him now as these days all u get are town people who want 2 make out they are rich 4 a night, so they go there and order a £26 steak & feel epic and totally mone... more >>

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Younguns by Buster (Member 10101570) on 13-Jan-2019
I don't like people bashing millennials as every1 hated us when we were young & we turned out proper good but why oh why do younguns go 2 the pub or Macdonalds or KFC and just tappy tap tap on their phones like no1 else is there. What is so good about a little square of black glass with pixels all over it. FB is clownerism & Twitter is goonery, so unless they are doing their uni dissitation on there I don't get it.   
  • Re: Younguns by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 15-Jan-2019
    You can access the whole world and beyond on a smartphone. Why would you want to be talking to someone physically when you can be chatting to exotic ladies, Somali pirates or Conservative PM's in real time whilst glugging cola and feasting on burgers.

  • Re: Younguns by Buster (Member 10101570) on 16-Jan-2019
    But when u miss your bus because u r busy looking at a woman twitching her nose to the tune of jingle bells it is seriously bad as in somewhere like Kenardington the next bus will be same time tomorrow and that woman's nose won't keep u entertained 4 a full 24 hours.

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Batter - who invented this vile crusty junk by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 30-Dec-2018
As per the subject, fish is a wonderful foodstuff and looks appealing too but someone invented this vile batter rubbish which hides the content. Why would anyone invent this filth? I guess it’s much like Yorkshite Pudding to make meat go further in the war but I might be wrong.   
  • Re: Batter - who invented this vile crusty junk by Buster (Member 10101570) on 2-Jan-2019
    Who doesn't like a deep fried mars or snickers? The combo of the batter and soft warm chocolate is a winner every time. When it is 4 fish the batter can be very dry if left on the counter 2 long. Always ask 4 fresh if they try 2 fob u off with bad batter. The fish will be suspect too without a doubt. I like a deep fried turbot best.

  • Re: Batter - who invented this vile crusty junk by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 3-Jan-2019
    Keep your god damn hands off me! Stop trying to dunk me in the gloopy fluid and burn me with your hot fat!

  • Re: Batter - who invented this vile crusty junk by Buster (Member 10101570) on 3-Jan-2019
    I'm gonna feast on your scales herb. 🐠🐟🐡🍟

  • Re: Batter - who invented this vile crusty junk by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 11-Jan-2019
    Herbert the turbot is a whale so I hope u have enough batter. U will also need a broom to baste the swine.

  • Re: Batter - who invented this vile crusty junk by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 15-Jan-2019
    That's more flour wasted that could be used to make cakes or Yorkshire puddings.

  • Re: Batter - who invented this vile crusty junk by Buster (Member 10101570) on 21-Jan-2019
    Come on every1. Flour-bomb that fish!!!

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Veganuary & dry January by Buster (Member 10101570) on 29-Dec-2018
I wanted 2 try veganuary 2 help make the environment better 4 other people's kids but when they wrote all over that butchers window in town it put me off so I'm going up beefeater 4 new year instead so people don't think I'm a thug.

Dry January is a bad idea as it is such a grotty month that u would do yourself in if u went without a refreshing beverage. Much better 2 try it in July when u can ... more >>
  
  • Re: Veganuary & dry January by Quentin Montfort (Member 10174404) on 30-Dec-2018
    I have not heard of all these modern fad names you use for what was known as a New Years resolution in years gone by. I do not feel the need for alcohol in my life, I do not find alcoholic drinks refreshing in any way, alcohol is a poison, nicotine is a poison, stimulants for short term happiness to maybe apply a happy mask to a sad face.
    There is plenty of opportunity to be happy is this world ... more >>

  • Re: Veganuary & dry January by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 30-Dec-2018
    Quite agree with you Quentin, I like old fashioned views and logic. Stimulants kill people.... fact.

  • Re: Veganuary & dry January by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 1-Jan-2019
    Quentin, what U are doing is good in trying 2 being meaning 2 our purposeless lives. The only worry is that it isn't true. We work. We die. And no1 gives a tinkers cuss about any of it. U know it's true. It's 2019 or some silly number but just the same old.

  • Re: Veganuary & dry January by Buster (Member 10101570) on 1-Jan-2019
    Bewso, shame on u 4 spoiling the party. The rest of us want 2 have fun and sing along 2 the spice girls at the pub disco. Come on don't be a grouch.

  • Re: Veganuary & dry January by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 15-Jan-2019
    Vegan January is more BS being dreamt up by retailers to sell us rubbish. Greggs have made a fortune from the vegan sausage roll so it's just an infill between Christmas and Easter. You all read too much national press which in turn is absolute and utter BS.

  • Re: Veganuary & dry January by Buster (Member 10101570) on 16-Jan-2019
    I think Brexit has proved that. Well done Robert Murdoch. Look what u have done to our country!!!

  • Re: Veganuary & dry January by Buster (Member 10101570) on 16-Jan-2019
    Forget that. The rich geezer's name is Rupert. Fake news.

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The perpetual tomato plant - part 7 by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 27-Dec-2018
I wanted 2 get in before the other user on this one as I am sure it's due up as a topic soon. You say tom8o and I say tomato. You say pot8o and I say potarto. Tom8to. Tomato. Pot8o. Potarto. Let's call the whole thing off.   
  • Re: The perpetual tomato plant - part 7 by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 28-Dec-2018
    You mock all you like, I know its a good idea and could end hunger in the third world. What could be more simple than growing a tomato using your own dung to feed and water the plant. You could probably grow some massive beef steak tomatoes with the amount of bullsh1 on here!

  • Re: The perpetual tomato plant - part 7 by Buster (Member 10101570) on 29-Dec-2018
    I think what Bewso was doing was more of a tribute than taking the fluid. Keep it up and wack out those tommies like crazy.

  • Re: The perpetual tomato plant - part 7 by Quentin Montfort (Member 10174404) on 30-Dec-2018
    I wonder if this should be taken seriously but would large amounts of uric acid actually produce a tomato with no nutritional value and perhaps even poisonous or detremantal to a persons health and well-being. Perhaps we should consider other crops which have a lesser water content that can withstand the harsh climates of the third world. I imagine tomatoes being largely water would require a lot ... more >>

  • Re: The perpetual tomato plant - part 7 by Buster (Member 10101570) on 2-Jan-2019
    Tomatoes are boring. Let's grow kumquats and pomegranates and okra and aubergines and courgettes and kiwi fruits and mangos and butternut squash and wash it all down with bread and st ivel gold.

  • Re: The perpetual tomato plant - part 7 by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 15-Jan-2019
    I don't think any of those exotic plants would grow here, you are better off growing leeks as they grow anywhere and in any climate. Probably better off planting cannabis and crapping on it.

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Areas of Ashford by Quentin Montfort (Member 10174404) on 27-Dec-2018
Hello, Its been a while since I visited but idle hands and mind over the Christmas period made me have a look and I'm glad to see the community is alive and well.

Being a resident of this lovely town I wondered where certain areas of the town got named.

I understand Newtown came about because of the railway with a lot of railway employees living in thi... more >>
  
  • Re: Areas of Ashford by Buster (Member 10101570) on 27-Dec-2018
    I've got 2.
    South Ashford is called that because it's the south part of Ashford and South Willesborough is called that because it's the south part of Willesborough.

    Here is a bonus one. Willesborough Lees is called that because it is Willesborough but it's like a different section.
    Hope that helps.

  • Re: Areas of Ashford by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 27-Dec-2018
    I think he was after something with a bit more substance Buster. Do u think Park Farm was a farm too?

  • Re: Areas of Ashford by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 28-Dec-2018
    Who really knows or gives a stuff, I'm going to attempt to work out some of the areas of this beautiful town...

    As for Kingsnorth..

    The Doomsday book suggestion is that the settlement took its name from Jutish people 'Kyn', kin folk, who settled on a wooded hill or 'snode'. Other early variations of the name are Kyngsnode; Kynsnoth, Kyngesnothe and King... more >>

  • Re: Areas of Ashford by Buster (Member 10101570) on 29-Dec-2018
    I reckon u are tired after that as going on Wikipedia really takes it out of u. Seriously though, look at the sign in Kingsnorth & it actually says Kinsnode or 1 of those weird spellings.

  • Re: Areas of Ashford by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 15-Jan-2019
    Last time I saw the sign someone had drawn a massive wanger on it complete with ball hair.

  • Re: Areas of Ashford by Buster (Member 10101570) on 16-Jan-2019
    Quick tip 4 u - if some1 draws a dirty thing on a sign or a book just write USA down the side in the same colour biro and it becomes a harmless space rocket. I learned this in school & it has served me very well in life so far.

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Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 26-Dec-2018
Back in the day me and the fellow crustaceans used to race round the ringroad in Ashford then some wobbly headed wally changed everything my scrapping the ringroad, bringing in two way traffic and the Dutch shared space concept. My idea is to reinstate the ringroad but extend it with a new section down Victoria Road along to Matterland then back up under the railway bridge by the TA army centre. I... more >>   
  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Buster (Member 10101570) on 27-Dec-2018
    I think a bigger ring further out would be good as long as u keep the pit stop at masterland. The shared space thingy is weird as every1 drives it like a normal road so it is still a pig 2 cross.

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 28-Dec-2018
    We are not trying to recreate the Nurnburg Ring in Ashford just a compact and fun race track with an extension. You could restore Vicarage Lane car back as a social meeting place and somewhere to perform tyre smoke donuts etc.

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Buster (Member 10101570) on 29-Dec-2018
    The only ring I like is a Cumberland one and it needs to be made out of pig.

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 29-Dec-2018
    Don't eat peppa and her friends buster. Try veganuary. You'll love it ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 30-Dec-2018
    @buster don’t listen to Grampa Bewsey 👴🏻 , get yourself a bacon roll 🐷 and a rude motor 🚗 and get racing. What on earth is Veganuary anyway, rug munching LGBT 🏳️‍🌈 idiots.

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 1-Jan-2019
    LGBT is cool and straight life is a bore. U know it is true so what is the topic? O yeh the ring road. Well I think all humans are a waste of time so the roads they use will be the same. 2019? Yeh, I've had a gut full of it already. Drive up and down the A28. See if I care.

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Buster (Member 10101570) on 2-Jan-2019
    Bewso it sounds like u had 2 many sherbets & were writing that with a banging searing ripper of a headache. Hope u r in a better mood now & well done 4 your post.

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 11-Jan-2019
    Ok you got me. I love people really and some of the nicest mammals I've met were human. I even smile at the truckers when then rip past me ignoring the 50 limit. Such rascals they are!

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 15-Jan-2019
    LGBT is another retailers ploy to sell us more crap between Christmas and Easter, producing rainbow cakes and straps for suitcases and unicolour chocolate Willies.

  • Re: Bring back the ringroad and extend it..... by Buster (Member 10101570) on 16-Jan-2019
    What u r thinking of is called Valentine's Day. It is a cool way 2 get some cash in the tills in the months where naff all happens apart from wet and cold stuff falling out of the air. Beat the winter blues and buy a piece of rude chocolate. Sorry pal I need something stronger like diazepam. 💊💊💊

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Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 23-Dec-2018
Any of you meat heads tried the cola challenge where you down three litres and wait for the eruption? I exploded and mucous fired out of my nose and I spiked my pants, it’s pretty intense but a good laugh.   
  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 23-Dec-2018
    Spelling error - should have read soiled my pants but spiked my pants is rather funny.

  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by Buster (Member 10101570) on 24-Dec-2018
    Don't do that herb as it isn't a good look. All that crazy Coke drinking went out when Liam and Robbie stopped being big and all that new slick lot like Craig David and Enrique started up. These days it is better 2 sip a nice brandy Alexander in front of the fire. Try it.

  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 24-Dec-2018
    Heroin isn't cool herbie. U need 2 straighten yourself out

  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 24-Dec-2018
    The coke challenge is good, I really don't like alcohol and the side effects or the devestation it causes to families. Even more fun is a game where a whole load of people take laxatives at the same time and trying not to soil yourself. I don't do drugs, only soluble aspirin when I have a headache.

  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by Buster (Member 10101570) on 24-Dec-2018
    That's how it starts herb. Soluble aspirin leads 2 harder stuff like gaviscon and that leads straight on to pure h. Next minute u r gliding down the stour with a needle sticking out of each fin. I have seen it with so many fish including my old mate Graham the mackerel. Exlax is not a toy. That is y you get it in chemists and not in toys r us.

  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 24-Dec-2018
    It's a common mistake. I went in what I thought was a chemists and asked 4 something 4 a sore throat and walked out with an action man jeep. No wonder I never worked out how to swallow it.

  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 26-Dec-2018
    Oh sod all that hard stuff, my limit is Strepsils really and they stuff me up. I once tried some milk of magnesia, what on earth is that all about, it’s like buffalo seamen.

  • Re: Belch Challenge - 3 litres of fizzy cola by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 28-Dec-2018
    I just drank a couple of cups of delish cola and I'm belching like a deranged animal, gas is leaving me everywhere and it's making it had to see with all the wind. I feel as rough as you can get and caffeine has now taking hold, its disgusting chemical filth.

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Knowhere drink by Buster (Member 10101570) on 22-Dec-2018
I am just a made up character whose posts are written by a local bloke with boredom issues but anyway, I went 2 the Conningbrook tonight and the exit doors were open while a disco was on & believe me there were some talented dancers pulling some mad shapes on the floor. If any of u want a date contact me here because I was watching& I liked what is aw very much.   
  • Re: Knowhere drink by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 23-Dec-2018
    I too am virtual but everything is virtual these days, don’t be disheartened! I attended the function and witnessed the disco in the back room of the Conny and I was not disappointed at all. There were voluptuous wenches of all shapes and sizes dancing in an exquisite seductive way, I felt like a voyeur at a gentlemen’s evening with all the scantily clad ladies dancing with each other and a fe... more >>

  • Re: Knowhere drink by Buster (Member 10101570) on 24-Dec-2018
    I wondered if the managers opened it so the dancers could have a sweat off outside. If they were open 4 smokers that is good 2 as I have been called names like bed ridden she devil just for nipping out 4 a delicious marlie & I am telling u that this isn't right.

  • Re: Knowhere drink by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 24-Dec-2018
    The filthy way they they were dancing must have made them sweat, I reckon they were burning more calories than they would through penetration. My photographic memory worked just fine and I keep playing it back in my head really slowly.

  • Re: Knowhere drink by Buster (Member 10101570) on 24-Dec-2018
    I know exactly what u mean cos when the docs put that needle near me 4 my flu jab I sweat like billy oh. So the slowmo version must look like a bit like ballet. Can u watch it fast too so it looks like 1 of those benny hill things?

  • Re: Knowhere drink by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 26-Dec-2018
    Benny Hill with a wheelbarrow following a white line was superb sped up, so simple yet so entertaining. The chuckle brothers were kind of there with the to me to you thing but not quite as wee your strides funny. I still have a chill from where the door was open, my sore throat from shouting has come good.

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Xmas no 1 by Buster (Member 10101570) on 21-Dec-2018
It used 2 be good when it was announced on a Sunday and u would listen to Bruno Brooks or Mark Goodyear counting the songs off but now it's on a Friday which is just clownery. So what is it gonna be? Ariana Grande has got some good melismas in her new one and Mariah Carey could do with the cash if her Christmas one reaches the top. I don't get why all those old songs come back every year as people... more >>   
  • Re: Xmas no 1 by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 22-Dec-2018
    I’ve heard the Xmas number one is some charity record about sausage rolls, what a load of dog food. I think now so many people have subscriptions to Spotify, Deezer, Amazon music and Apple Music so I doubt if many people actually purchase singles other than old people who are obsessed with Michael Ballsacks and Ken Dodd. Mark Goodier, Bruno Brooks etc used to hype up the people and everyone enjo... more >>

  • Re: Xmas no 1 by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 22-Dec-2018
    I need to clarify I meant Michael Boob Slay not ball bags.

  • Re: Xmas no 1 by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 23-Dec-2018
    That's an unfortunate typo u did there. I don't mind a bit of charity, in fact I think it is good cos politicians can't sort out anything so we all need to chip in 2 sort out the mess they get paid 2 make, but even so I don't think this is the best thing that has been produced in the uk this year. There are a lot of people here and I am sure some1 will have written a better tune so what I am sayin... more >>

  • Re: Xmas no 1 by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 23-Dec-2018
    I have seen the sausage roll video and seen other material by the creators and it’s pretty funny. Ladbaby have done more for this country then and politician or town crier.

  • Re: Xmas no 1 by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 24-Dec-2018
    But that's not hard cos politicians actually make things worse by helping the rich 2 violate the rest of us. Don't get me wrong it's well intentioned and inoffensive but is it up to the Christmas number ones of the past?

  • Re: Xmas no 1 by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 26-Dec-2018
    Does anyone give a stuff? I’m listening the some LGBT playlists on Spotify most of the time, the Jimmy Somerville and Erasure hits are brilliant, I don’t care for the Donna Summer and Pet Shop Boys.

  • Re: Xmas no 1 by Buster (Member 10101570) on 13-Jan-2019
    The guitar solo on Hot Stuff by Donna Summer is blinding. Check it out.

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Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 16-Dec-2018
Poor woman, she tried hard. She surely has, but obstinately so. She’s been hell-bent on delivering brexit, no matter what it ends-up looking like. There’s been scant acknowledgement that the referendum result was only marginal, 52% in favour.
The country was divided as the Tory party has always been, and that is what this is ultimately about: a vanity project by Cameron to untie his party, b... more >>
  
  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 16-Dec-2018
    I wanna get my duty free, roam with no charges so I can look at Facebook and get a fry up for a fair price otherwise I don’t give a toss. These idiots in that big church thing in London are a waste of money, I say they should have a phone vote on Jeremy Kyle not all this crap they want to bore us with.

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 16-Dec-2018
    That was awesome dude. Love the passion and some good big words in there 2. Agree that Cameron thought it would be a stay result and then he could use it to show how diplomatic he is and get another term in office but it backfired badly cos he was out of touch at how much people are influenced by the Sun & want 2 punish politicians for helping billionaires while they scratch around for a few biscu... more >>

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 16-Dec-2018
    Old Theresa was as voluptuous as baby bell back in the day, ample chest, never ending legs and beautiful in every way and now she looks like Barbara Cartland that has been exhumed! I despair at the politicians and how out of touch they are, I bet they are all dirty little bitch boys to the media moguls and billionaires, mere puppets. I’d still bang her if it came to it but she’d have to bag he... more >>

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 17-Dec-2018
    Can't say I like the shaved head look on women. Skunk anansie tried it and also sinead o Connor but I prefer 2 see a bit of Barnet. Lay of Theresa every1. If any of u think u can do better get yourselves over 2 Strasbourg & get negotiating.

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 17-Dec-2018
    That's the thing though no one actually wants Brexit and that fat W Boris lied to everyone about the extra budget for the NHS. May needs to go and so does Brexit. Who doesn't like a bit of hair.

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 17-Dec-2018
    George Howarth MP gets it that it's democratic for people to change their minds. We were lied to before the original referendum vote and I voted leave but when the fact and correct stats were shown I changed my mind. I love my holidays to France and Europe in general I just wanted the NHS to have a bigger budget. Politicians are generally out of touch and don't listen to the voters other than to get the vote.

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by Buster (Member 10101570) on 21-Dec-2018
    It is nice that a fish cares about our human health care and if humans were nicer to fishes that would be like Kellogg's Frosties - grrrrrrrreat. Anyhow, a referendum is a referendum and if people steamed in like a bull in a china shop cos the sun told them to vote OUT they have 2 live with it. I'm glad I don't read papers cos they are written by people like Murdoch who just don't give a fig 4 the... more >>

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 21-Dec-2018
    U have really come on in leaps and bounds since school. I like it a lot.

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 21-Dec-2018
    I think herb is trying 2 say that politicians lied 2 get us 2 vote 4 Brexit like trump did about his wall, so like the naughty boys and girls that they are they need 2 be sent back 2 their desks and start again, this time telling the truth that there will be Jack all extra for healthcare and then see if the vote goes the same way. A fish can't read so u can't accuse him of reading tripe like the Sun. Be fair buster.

  • Re: Brexit - anyone give a toss?? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 by Buster (Member 10101570) on 22-Dec-2018
    Don't get sucked in Bewso. I think the message was copied and pasted from another forum & that the poster is trying 2 start a debate with some1 else's words. The words r from a civil engineering genius who doesn't even know about it. Stay calm & keep schtum.

Reply
 
♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 10-Oct-2018
Basically with all the above the world would be a better place.   
  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 10-Oct-2018
    I think a drink of Cola needs to be added to this list as chicken grease needs washing a way, too much chicken grease without cola could result in a really clagged up throat.

    Are we talking chicken nuggets from a Scottish firm or are we talking tower burgers from a military general? Hopefully we are not talking about Joseph and Sue’s wagon or Ali’s shed of even the one in town with Mehmet, Nail and the gang.

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 16-Dec-2018
    Oily food is popular cos in the cave times people got cold so if u pile on the phat u will survive the winter. These days we have megamacs and KFC skyscraper burgers so we don't need to stuff our cake holes with lard any more but a lot of people do and they get very very big. Get out of the stone age u clowns. There's good veggy stuff in the County. No1 needs to be 28 stone.

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 16-Dec-2018
    Blimey - for a few months I thought I might have to get a pen friend as the modern internet knowhere thing just vanished. I imagine this website is held in the cloud and the scorching sun evaporated the moisture from the cloud and therefore Knowhere was nothing, gone. Hip hip hop hurrah for putting coins in the meter and bringing life back to the old girl.

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 16-Dec-2018
    Hey D Bewsey, okay some folk eat that green witchcraft bull but us poor folk are knocking back cheap food consisting of sugar and animal fats. Council house scum essentially are cave people so get down and dirty, find some burgers and delicious cola and have a knees up!!

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 16-Dec-2018
    Hey hey hey, wind your neck right back in, cos renting from a local authority is fine as private costs shed loads and local wages are a sick joke deployed by sadists who worship dosh. Either way I don't buy this thing about only eating oil n grease cos a bloke I know who reads meters used 2 use this excuse but as soon as he had a baby he was yamming down salads n stuff.

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 16-Dec-2018
    Are you sh1tting me? People love grease and sugar, it’s inexpensive and fecking delish. No one wants to eat veg and salad unless it’s dripping with some sort of sauce which is made of fat and sugar! Take that!

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 16-Dec-2018
    It's 4 real pal, he used 2 go under the name of hugh on this site but now he is 2 busy munching pak choi 2 go on sites with intermittent servers. He has a point.

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 17-Dec-2018
    I remember Hugh as in Hugh Jarse? I think that Hugh was actually a female. Look at the state of that awful Gillian McKeith woman, she looked like the walking dead and told lie after lie, that's what eating veg does to you. My theory is cars are belching out exhaust gases and plants absorb the toxic chemical so this healthy green stuff is toxic as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer. Fat and sugar... more >>

  • Re: ♥️✌🏻🍗 Love, Peace and Chicken Grease by Buster (Member 10101570) on 21-Dec-2018
    There was another hugh on that board and this one had an even ruder name. Coming up with rude names isn't good as we all use our real names so they should too.

Reply
 
What is knowhere? by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 24-Sep-2018
Put knowhere into wiki and u get this

Located within what appears to be a severed head of a Celestial floating along The Rip (the extreme outer edge of all spacetime with no specific physical location), Knowhere acts as a makeshift port of call and observatory of the End of the Universe for intergalactic travelers of all species and from all times. First appearing in Nova #8 (see 2007 in comics... more >>
  
  • Re: What is knowhere? by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 5-Oct-2018
    I think if I had to write the wiki entry it would be more like.... 1980's social media site designed for low bandwidth internet connections, the place to abuse and be abused.

    The actual wiki entry is a drug inspired mind trip.

  • Re: What is knowhere? by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 5-Oct-2018
    Nowhere for me is a social cabin like an old folks home that smells strongly of urine but with comfortable well worn armchairs and the place where you are waiting for the grim reaper to take you beyond this life.

  • Re: What is knowhere? by Buster (Member 10101570) on 8-Oct-2018
    Knowhere is a school reunion for 2 plus an extra one in spirit but not in the real world. It is a chance to get back to school humour & discuss local issues in a comedic style. It is 100% a force 4 good as real communities have all been put in a bin & set fire to.

  • Re: What is knowhere? by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 8-Oct-2018
    I like it cos u don't need 2 bother about spelling or grammar cos no1 reads it. Then when u slam in a really good word people get surprised cos they think you're a dunce. Sooooo funny.

  • Re: What is knowhere? by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 10-Oct-2018
    Completely agree with man like bus stop, it’s a school reunion 28 years later for me. Lots of toilet humour and banter plus some topical issues and solutions to world problems. Doesn’t matter it you can spell of are a master of grammar or a user of three letter words.

Reply
 
Family fortunes by Buster (Member 10101570) on 21-Sep-2018
Try these

Name something that squeals

Name something that jingles
  
  • Re: Family fortunes by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 22-Sep-2018
    Door and bells, doorbell. Did I do that right??

  • Re: Family fortunes by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 24-Sep-2018
    I was going to say a fan belt & some keys

  • Re: Family fortunes by Buster (Member 10101570) on 24-Sep-2018
    Ok ok. Bell was the top answer 4 the second 1 but no1 has got the top answer for the first 1. Keep trying.

  • Re: Family fortunes by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 5-Oct-2018
    Mouse and keys then maybe, where are we going here?

  • Re: Family fortunes by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 5-Oct-2018
    Pigs squeal or police informers I guess. Keys jingle and thats about it really. Someone must know...

  • Re: Family fortunes by Buster (Member 10101570) on 8-Oct-2018
    Clue: I've heard squeals coming out of prams a few times.

  • Re: Family fortunes by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 10-Oct-2018
    Baby and bell, you can’t get enough of her Barbara Windsor like laughs and teasing of the men with her ample bussoms. I haven’t seen her in years but I bet she doesn’t change, dressing like a cheap lady of the night with plenty of thigh and breast on display.

    I wouldn’t mind betting she possibly has children now and knits in the evenings like us boring old women.

  • Re: Family fortunes by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 16-Dec-2018
    I heard she was a librarian in Walton on Thames now.

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Cows up the woods - Well known pork product village by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 5-Sep-2018
Hey I bet you guys are on faceless and check out a well known pork product village and have seen mention of cows roaming in the woods. I have been in the woods when these huge beasts are out for a walk, I think free range athletic cows may well produce better milk and burgers than the lazy beasts that generally just stand about. There are stools all round the woods after the latest rampage, its br... more >>   
  • Re: Cows up the woods - Well known pork product village by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 7-Sep-2018
    I visited the woodland after the event and saw the fecal matter all round the paths, quite a shock standing in cow mess compared to the normal beefy dog doings. Big up the adventure seeking bullocks and healthy heffers who fancied a ramble. I tell you other animals could learn a thing or two from these beasts, I say sheep and limas could do with some exercise and probably the laziest swines are pi... more >>

  • Re: Cows up the woods - Well known pork product village by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 12-Sep-2018
    Pigs are not lazy. If u do your research & watch pepper pig u will see that they r always having days out & doing activities. The cows in the wood thing makes me think of when the real Bewsey & mak like tan were sitting behind the red gra eating the Kraft dairylea slice sandwiches & they got flushed out by the heffers. they laughed for months about this.

  • Re: Cows up the woods - Well known pork product village by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 13-Sep-2018
    Peppa has her own theme park but often on the show they go off in Daddy pigs car or grandpa pigs canal boat. Cheese slice sandwiches sound wonderful but being chased by cows is a tricky business.

Reply
 
Knowhere special deal by Buster (Member 10101570) on 22-Aug-2018
Be the first 2 post a thousand messages on knowhere and you win a free I love knowhere badge. Messages on other boards can be used 4 the total so get posting. Now!!!   
  • Re: Knowhere special deal by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 5-Sep-2018
    But how on earth do you know how many messages you have posted?? This crock pot of mud doesn't seem to have any facilities that show what you have posted or am I missing out on some hidden gem?!

    I gladly spread my phallusisms around the internet, I'm off to the Milton Keynes board, laters farmers.

  • Re: Knowhere special deal by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 7-Sep-2018
    I’m pretty active on here and a good contender for the prize, I have posted loads of messages and I’m frequently the starter of threads. I’m active on a lot of boards not just this one for Ashford.

  • Re: Knowhere special deal by Buster (Member 10101570) on 12-Sep-2018
    Download the knowhere app 2 get a post count, word count, letter count & swear count. Also u don't need 2 ask the moderators if u want 2 delete an old post that shames u. There's also a nuke button that deletes all the posts u have ever made from every board if u become mayor of a local village or something respectable in life

  • Re: Knowhere special deal by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 13-Sep-2018
    Incredible, I had no idea the app existed. Checking out my stats I have used 3023 smutty terms, 148 swear words and apparently used the Korean language 45 times and Portuguese 4 times.

  • Re: Knowhere special deal by Buster (Member 10101570) on 18-Sep-2018
    That is cool as krill, u must have downloaded the full dashboard. Do any of your categories overlap. I swore once in Danish. So I've got Danish words 9, swearing 23, but 1 word is in both sets. It's like the Julia set and the Mandelbrot set. Do they overlap or r they mutually exclusive?

  • Re: Knowhere special deal by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 18-Sep-2018
    Is that really u writing this buster? I think u have been hacked.

  • Re: Knowhere special deal by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 22-Sep-2018
    Everyone loves a good Mandelbrot and fractals, I know I do. Statistical analysis is incredibly fun and Carol Vorderman is beautiful and clever. The computer that generates these stats must be incredibly powerful, I thought Knowhere was about basic low budget low resource but the full dashboard gives loads of feedback and pie charts and all that jazz. Bus stop sounded very well educated in the post... more >>

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The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 17-Jul-2018
So heres one for you... I think you know the score with this but I don't think we ever came up with a definitive answer to this teaser, will the tomato plant ever stop producing with its amazing fertilising with human waste or will the fruit eventually have no taste or actually taste of the nastiness it is being fed with... Place your bets...   
  • Re: The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 17-Jul-2018
    Why is it always the tomato plant that you use as an example, surely other examples could be tried. Im quite up for trying this perpetual thing with maybe a radish plant or fig tree. Tomatoes are nice but I think perhaps something else might actually grow quicker than a tomato like perhaps cress could be the answer. Cherries are rich in sugar but does the sugar element need to be present in the pl... more >>

  • Re: The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by Klaus Vanderbaus (Member 10174538) on 19-Jul-2018
    Cress indeed grow like grass and take much mow by scissors 🔪 or kut wif nife. Rubarb probably flurrish wif backside phertiliser, many many options available. Perhaps they should dump human waste into the sea to feed the krill and crabs and in turn give us a sustainable food product, dunno about you guys but I love crab.

  • Re: The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by Buster (Member 10101570) on 27-Jul-2018
    O no not this again. I don't really get this topic, like the dog mess 1 that is always on another local board. Is there a specific reply we need 2 give 2 make it stop? What is wrong with a nice little pot of baby bio or some fysons levingtons compost? U could always get a tape of Sam Supplier and after u played it backwards 2 check 4 hidden messages u could shred it up and use it for compost.

  • Re: The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 5-Sep-2018
    Sam Supplier is a genius, he's probably sponsored by Pfysers, or something like that.

  • Re: The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by Buster (Member 10101570) on 12-Sep-2018
    Does this supplier geezer do music in the style known as tropical house? I heard some of this & it is really quite ok.

  • Re: The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 13-Sep-2018
    Sam Supplier is on Rinse FM every Friday from 2pm till 4pm, its on FM in London but otherwise available on all good internet radio apps or the website. Dunno what you'd call it really probably not tropical house, thats surely a greenhouse, always way too hot.

  • Re: The Perpetual Tomato Plant - Part 6 - The Final Chip and Pip by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 17-Dec-2018
    Someone better open the exit doors or John major would have it as a statistic.

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Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 17-Jul-2018
So it turns out we were very much told a right old fairy tale and the figures just don't add up, that ghastly May women is trying to convince us we should leave but softly, what are you Ashford residents thinking about the whole thing??

I say admit defeat and stay in Europe, its the right was to go and straight bananas and cucumbers fit in the fridge nicely.
  
  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Herbert TheTurbot (Member 10191426) on 17-Jul-2018
    My vote - STAY, Europe has done wonderful things for us.. Do you think the supermarkets would be stocking the Kabanos Polish sausage if we were not in Europe, it would be Richmond boring sausages the whole way not these great treats, Im rather upset that it didn't go all the way and the UK imports are not made of horse meat.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Klaus Vanderbaus (Member 10174538) on 19-Jul-2018
    As a Russian with a summer holiday home in the UK I very much enjoy the freedom and comfort that I can travel freely from one country to another. I love my Russian foodstuffs and the open borders means I can very much enjoy Solyanka soup, Golubtsy, potato okroshka and borscht from takeaway outlets and most good supermarkets with a foreign food isle. May the UK 🇬🇧 and Russia 🇷🇺 be linke... more >>

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Buster (Member 10101570) on 27-Jul-2018
    Klaus, it was better when u were German cos u knew a heck of a lot about bockwurst bratwurst and currywurst but when it comes 2 the Russian nosh it looks like u did a copy and paste of Wikipedia.

    I knew Brexit was a lie which is why I didn't vote either way. Politicians lips are moving but they lie lie lie. Cam was a clown 2 call 4 a vote when he had no plan 4 if it didn't go his way & now poor... more >>

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 27-Jul-2018
    He did a cracking set at glasto. He should team up with Ozzy or Liam & do some proper socialist rock while Theresa has her friends round for scones and earl grey.

    I'm so bored with Brexit that I ate so many packs of dry roasted peanuts that it created a dust bowl in the lounge. I was hoovering for hours.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 5-Sep-2018
    I just realised that Klaus was indeed originally German, think he's either been hacked or novichoc iced! The ultimate death ice-cream eh.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Buster (Member 10101570) on 12-Sep-2018
    I hate it when characters change like that. Remember Nicky platt in Coronation Street. He was just a wispy little kid but when he came back as a new actor he was all beefed up with testosterone. Then he had a go at a pop career but it was a big big mistake. He may disagree with me & I wouldn't argue as he was built like a brick youknowwhat.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 13-Sep-2018
    I do not watch that northern sh1te, I can't say it interests me in any way. I can understand gang violence in London hence being a fan of Enders but Emmerdale is quaint Yorkshire countryside and Corrie is downtown Manchester, also quaint northern farming land.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Buster (Member 10101570) on 18-Sep-2018
    Emmerdale is trying 2 compete with horror like John carpenters the thing. It even had a bad language warning 1 evening but I didnt hear anything rude. Take the high road was much better 4 a country soap. It had a brilliant theme tune & I loved the bit where the road splits into a v at the start & 1 car went on the high tias and 1 went on the low road. Such a cool representation of the title.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Buster (Member 10101570) on 18-Sep-2018
    Tias was a typo. Sorry gents. I got a bit excited writing that. It meant road.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by Phallus (Member 10281920) on 22-Sep-2018
    I don’t remember take the high road but I loves all creatures great and small, Bergerac was fabulous and very enjoyable. Everyone loved seeing John Nettles driving round the Channel Islands solving crime. The Australian soaps have always been rubbish and unrealistic, the majority of Australians are either out running or out drinking, Ramsay Street was joke as there were no BBQ events.

  • Re: Missold BREXIT - In, Out, Shake your bits about by D Bewsey (Member 10101410) on 24-Sep-2018
    Bergerac was good but the episode where he walks in & there is blood all over the bathroom did shock me when I was a bairn. Midsomer murders is good as I'm glad the nettles bloke didn't give up solving crime when he moved 2 the main land. US soaps r 2 violet like dynasty and Dallas. Aussie soaps r out now but they were as massive as jungle back in the day & there would be no Kylie if there was no ... more >>

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