The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Birkenhead, Merseyside*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • Hypothetical words mentioned in, the below comment.
  • Poverty, Decay, Degeneration. The land that time forgot. The inhabitants have regressed back to cave people.
  • The ones who are real scousers think you shackled to Merseyside, by calling you a plastic Scouser I personally left merseyside for many reasons which included their controlling behaviour there envy and small minded hate ,i would say that the Merseyside area the people are pathetic and sad and insecure.
  • jealous uneducated very insecure and insulting
  • the people are a fallacy they think they live in Cheshire when they live in Merseyside
  • A place of great division. It's perhaps rife with shop-lifters who seem to be unable to afford any thing at all in chip as cheaps Home Bargains or Poundworld. The po-lice are never out of there. Sad. But the shop assistants in St John's precinct are very upwardly mobile and aspirational. You will regularly hear them discuss their latest trip to Aruba or their latest cruise on the Oriana in the Caribbean. Cheap? Not them! Cuba is also the port of choice for many discerning Birkonians - a week in Rhyl is so last century. Wirral is full of posh people, don't you know. I can't understand why large numbers look like they've lost the will to live - must be something in the air or the gubmint!
  • Nothing to do unless you go over the Mersey
  • these nobheads r chattin shit chattin shit!!!
  • drunk teenager
  • Old smackheads walking the streets with a nice warm can of 'Super Scol'.
  • The craft shop I wont mention.
  • To many poor people in track suits.
  • Male ear rings, shaven heads, tatooes, vile manners, cheap gold bracelets, no respect, gaunt young mums with shiny belts swearing at their infants, solicitors, estate agents. The John Laird. (gosh, all the previous are in there, well maybe not the lawyers)
  • gjghkgdjkdgjkkgdj
  • the door men
  • the fact that you cant go anywhere without being hounded by scals in hoods
  • probably the sales people there everywhere but they do go away if u say no
  • ppl batter ppl 4 F/A like
  • Saturday shopping in Birkenhead - full of teenage mums threatening to 'smack their kids faces in' when they make a noise - nice. The stench that always hits you when you get off the ferry at Woodside.
  • That "you'll walk alone" is only played at the end of the boat trip over the Mersey...damn!
  • The town is a complete lost hope, dragged down by the Trisha watching, compensation seeking, methadone addicted few who roam Hamilton square like zombies. I see immigrants here and I think 'how on earth did you end up here?'
  • rite like any other town and city birkenhead has its fair share of problems we do have more than of our fair share of druggies, alcys and its single mum city but you tell me anywhere is better we dont have gang land crimes and i have been to other places like wolverhampton and manchester and i dont feal safe gimme my home town anyday theese are my people and i have my accent back and sound like a birkonian and PROUD TO BE ONE
  • Dog crap on the Pavements
  • The stream of lousy seedy pubs in town. Poundshops. The ex shipyard. Litter outside Rovers after a match. Decadence, unemployment, and mobile phone shops. The Grange Road CO-Op which turned into a seedy sports clothes empire. Too many millionaires. Too many jobs. Too many prospects. CHIN UP! Sign on with pride.
  • Car crime and the Police policy of not bothering to tackle the problem. Scallies who make peoples lives a misery The Council's policy of demolishing whole streets where nobody wants to live, instead of sorting out the people who cause the problems. The depleted Police service which we are being forced to pay more for when the Council Tax goes up by 7% in 2004. The amount of rent paid by council tenants which goes to pay Housing Benefits to the scallies who break into your house when you are out at work.
  • Scallies
  • The homeless People who give the North End Stick when there areas are just as crappy and just as full of robbers etc/ Hoylake Road Mobsters / and of corse down town boot boys heehee they are such twerps and of course
  • The appalling state that Birkenhead's Victorian architecture has been left to rot in. Take a look at the marvellous arc of buildings at the intersection of Oxton Road and Balls Road - and weep. One of them actually fell down in the new year. The new architecture in the town is diabolical. The view of the Pyramid Shopping Precinct, from Borough Road, looks like a set from 'Escape From New York'. Worst of all, the prevailing architectural style we get foisted on us these days, is that lousy 'Lego Vernacular' of orangey concrete blocks - set off with little round windows, green railings, and minaret towers. The suburban superstore look. The place is heaving with them - so if you're aesthetically timid, bring a sick bag.
  • Decadent, seedy, scruffy, shamefull. That is Argyle Street and surrounding areas. The town is a mess. The Hamilton quarter has been sorted but the rest of the town is a dump. Long faces, stress, poverty, that is Birkenhead. But bouncers are thriving, complete with their skinheads, ear pieces and chewing gum. In a nutshell, Girotown.
  • Corpy road. North End
  • The scousers who slag Birkenhead and call the residents "arsholes" in your column,well you daft scouse bastard you spell it "arsEholes"!!!try going to school
  • Scallies who tuck their pants into their socks, north end, Rockport, lacoste, Sherlocks, Astons, Being called wooly backs i mean WHY? Some of the dockside near corpy road although it is on the mend.
  • The North End. Go there and you'll see what I mean!!!
  • The attitudes of those who resent or dislike those with which they do not relate. The unemployment problem and the side effects it brings. The insular attitude of some. The lack of cultural diversity.
  • Terrible train service. The authorities have added insult to injury by setting up an encrusted tram service for a minority of councillors and train-spotting geeks. Birkenhead was the first to getrid of the trams so why bring them back?Why can't they invest in a modern tram service like Manchester?
  • need i say it THE NORTHEND... WOODCHURCH...LEASOW...NOCTORUM...other than that the place is ok...ok the LEASOW is part of wallasea but it is one of the worse places around...although i might be moving near there,,,,dam... They had to build a police station down the northend to keep the scum under raps... Also birkenhead was called BIRKENHELL by the dialy mirror a few years ago...bastards what the fuck they know?
  • Dog turds and broken bottles in Birkenhead Park and other open spaces.
  • Worral Borough Council who allow people to aggressively collect for charity in Grange Precinct. They should not be allowed to work in 4's and approach people like they have been doing. They also ask for peoples bank details. This should be illegal. Merseyside police who know there is a hardcore of juvenile offenders who drive around in stolen cars every night yet they do nothing.
  • Scallies...
  • Thieving scumbags (Lock Your car or bike) There are no-go areas for leaving your car unattended
  • Pubs who put duos with backing tapes on - conning the public coz it's glorified karaoke! Wirral council not allowing private hire cabs to pick up off the street at weekends, most problems in birkenhead are caused by piss heads arguing over taxis Wetherspoons - they lower the tone of the whole area - we all know what kind of clientelle they attract ie cheap ale = cheap customers and all the problems they bring with them.
  • The fact you always get hassle on the trains, specially if youre not mainstream. Keep your head down, you might get spat at.
  • Nothing!
  • Birkenhead people are SO ugly!
  • Grange Road , it used to be a reasonable place to shop with lots of smaller individual interesting places to pop into, now it it a flith strewn third world dump.
  • The f**king Mersey Tunnel ! Those idiots couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery ! And they charge WELL over the odds - the thieveing bast**ds !
  • People who used to live in Birkenhead slagging it off because they haven't been there recently!!
  • Car Crime Prostitution
  • The North End (especially Corpy Road)... don't break down there whatever you do! If you own a decent car and move to Birkenhead, you won't own it for long. Or at least all of it. It's a hole! I grew up there and I'm glad I got out, it's so depressing. Argyle Street. A guarranteed bottling every Saturday night. Liverpool's safer! The hard drugs problem.
  • Argyle Street, any night 6:30pm - 4:00 am - Beirut Boulevard - keep driving and go to Liverpool - I have the Arrowe Park Hospital operation scars to prove it!
  • The people on trains who hassle you for drugs/ciggys/drink/money etc, and then nearly beat you up when your on your way to Liverpool. Liverpool's far cooler and safe, so stay there kids.
  • The worst thing about Birkenhead is the likes of the mouth that has written your page, or at least some comments on it, but thank god he left five years ago. Pity it wasn't sooner, thanks.
  • Park Taxis. Cowboys. Job centres. Lee Sanderson.
  • Full of "woolly Backs" (yes it is spelled that way its an insult) arseholes who think they are as good as "SCOUSERS" but are just sadley "ARSHOLES"
  • All the Birkenhead Wannabe-scousers who trek off to another city (i.e. Liverpool) to watch Everton and Liverpool on a Saturday, then moan about Man Utd supporters not coming from Manchester.

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All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: lisa walsh, jkjd, Tim Lowe, Richard Mark Stewart, Bekki, cris, Brian Jones, Nev, kelly, Lorraine Dawson, CHRISTOPHER DAVENPORT, What’s your secret, mark, cgvbhmdsfthmk, Matt, Becky O'Lochlan, Ralph, kazzaa, fred smith, Dan, lorraine keilaus, Nici, ruth dickson, Jo Wood, katy, M.Billing, stephen lamb, Claire, John Mckay, dave, A Birkenhead DJ, maz, Little Buddha, Jenny King, Glenna HUghes, Soo, Jen King, Adam Clixby, richard, Marion Grundy, jess douglas, steve, Tina McDonnell, Mike Hamilton, graham, Paul, ezza, anna, Beno, wendy, David, karl ambler, Jed Dandy, louise connelly, David Morton, kue, George Bryan, Bethan Eldridge, Linda Knox, Martin, Darren, Genevieve Wilkinson, muriel parsons, FuckShit, kath lawrence, Tom P, John Fann, mark branscombe, jake, chris smith, darren reid, Peter, Jim Bibby, jon james, Loz, gaz jones, jane, Mike Elton, Pixy Lix, Arthur Hesketh, John Harrison, carl, Robert Epstein, greg, Neil Ciaron Thomas, Andy Bushell, generic, rach a, Jo, Pat Fox nee Wallace, Marmalade, Nicky, Tim Davies, Becky O'Lachlan, mandy, Joun Rono, Jimmy Mullet, christine, Malcolm, John Hughes, ronna, Tony Flinn, carl kewley, Kell, Jim Lowe, jbwaasup, John, Emz, Matt Cavanagh, JULIE HAMILTON, m fasten, Robert Croft, craig cartwright

Last updated: 2019-01-26

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