The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Brighton, East Sussex*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
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  • The pebbly beach, the seagulls who like to shit all over you car. The litter, the crap accommodation. The hordes of language students who descend on the city during summer. The townsfolk who lack any ambition: people come here to fail.
  • The fact that none of the foreign taxi drivers haven't got a sodding clue and take you to somewhere at the opposite end of Brighton to where you want to go, pollution in the summer (I never knew you could get used to the smell of shit) and the annoying scroats who call themselves locals who are permanently drunk at 9 o'clock in the morning
  • Awful lowlife chav afflicted citizens. The Brighton Open Market - in particular the Fruit Shop - Unit 43. Pretends to sell cheap fruit and veg but its all grown in toxic fields just outside Newhaven garbage incinerator. Takes the biscuit to for obnoxious customer service too.
  • Bin striking, rubbish strewn streets. The Gypo's that arrive in june and stay all summer. London Road is full of charity shops,piss heads, smack head scum.
  • Jason 'Micky Mouse' Evans. What a stinking tramp!
  • All the city is decadent. A beautiful seafront full of homeless and beggars. It has so much potential it is one of the most decadent cities i've ever visitec the town centre is so bad kept i didn't felt i was in England,sad very sad no wonder the habitants are decadent too
  • Too many weird launderettes,
  • Too MANY chavs, street drinkers, poofs, lefties, PC liberals, foreign students and plain strange people.......and as to those funny white eco people with long braided long does it take to wash it or don't you bother?? Only joking!
  • the locals beating up homeless people just because we are homeless. i bet my life they would not be able to handle 1 night on the street. see how hard they are then. i am a homeless woman, ive been sleeping rough in brighton for 1 year now. i nearly died in the winter, its not fun. im not a drunk, drug addict, begger or tramp, just homeless. im small and slender, should not have to be able to fight. i was woken up at 3am in november in the rain by a man with a bottle about to smash it over my head, charming people live in brighton.
  • Brighton is truly the arsehole of England. It's full of Pikeys, chavs, paedophiles, illegal immigrants, Scousers and self-important gays who have the council, police and local media by the balls. Who is REALLY responsible for homophobia? The Police are all as bent as a Nigerian nine-pound note - Sussex Police has more criminals in it than any other force in the country.
  • Brighton is really small minded. People think that they are liberal minded but secretly they are totally fascist, racist and Conservative. People of Brighton have no class, style or manners. Brighton should be in the worst part of Essex. People in Brighton are really smug about their lives because they have never opened their eyes and seen anything outside of their pathetic little village. Anyone can succeed in Brighton because the level of talent is so low. It’s a big, under-achieving bubble. Don’t go to Brighton or you’ll stay there and never achieve anything of any consequence. Get out and go to London or another real city, and you’ll put things in perspective and realise how small the place is. Only go there if you are unable to cope with real challenges, due to mental illness or drug addiction, like 80% of the people who live there. (And by the way, unlike most of the contributors here, I’m actually from Brighton, so I know what I’m talking about.)
  • Brighton's nude beach - saw a hunky bloke naked - lovely big helmet!!
  • All the students who never left because they couldn't make it in the real world. Now they pretend to be left wing tree-huggers and live in Hanover, but in fact they are boring, small minded fascists. It's rubbish and totally overrated and everybody is so smug and self satisfied. Hopefully the cuts in the public sector will mean that most of the pen pushing civil service do-gooders will be hurled onto the dole and have to move out of the town along with all the boring psuedo-hippies because they won't be able to afford the rent.
  • There's a lot of generalising from decidedly non-local people on this page.
  • too many students and non english speakers. this means that born and bred Brightonians cannot get work or find accomodation. brighton people should have priority over incomers when it comes to Council/Housing Assoc.allocations. basically there are too many people in this town, and the infrastructure is unable to cope
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  • The chip on the shoulder about London that Brightonians have. It borders on the comical.
  • when its windy on the beach
  • Brighton is full of junkies, tramps and hoodies just like any other provincial city. Hove to the West is full of middle aged estate agents and their bottle blonde, big haired, false boobed wives driving round in jeeps with blacked out windows thinking they look like gangsters. Don't buy into the hype - it's a toilet.
  • Brighton has many beauty spots ,with carparks but because of the so called dogging scene , if you now park near the devils dyke , in one of the parking areas , it is not safe , perverts prowl these areas , not safe for children, police are aware, be warned.
  • Having visited Brighton for the first time last week, I found it the most dissapointing town I've ever visited. Not the worst, just don't believe the hype about this place. It's like any other town except it happens to have a beach and a more appropriate name for it would be Hemel Hempstead on Sea.The parking is the most abissmal of any town I've visited and the majority of shops and eateries are a complete rip off. In fact this is capital of Britain rip off town. The pubs and clubs are decidedly average and full of chavs.
  • Too many:- Tramps, Taxes, Traffic Wardens and Tourists!
  • Contributors to Knowhere Brighton referring to the area roughly bounded by Trafalgar Street, Grand Parade/Old Steine, North Street and Queens Road as 'the north lanes' or northern lanes' or even 'north laines'. The name of the area is North Laine. The area has nothing to do with The Lanes to the south and is certainly not a northern counterpart to it. The word laine has nothing to do a lane, a road, a path or a street. Laine is a 17th century term for field. In the days before ignorant folk determined to submit comments about their own town on a website North Laine simply meant the north field. As I suppose it still does. Come on, call yourself local. Ive only lived here for a year, and I know this.
  • the seafront in winter too cold!!!
  • The Brighton Charter Hotel. Up four flights of ridiculously steep stairs only to find a bed so saggy it's like hippos have been shagged by rhinos on it nightly for the past 20 years. Whip off the sheets and encounter a mattress more full of sperm than Ulrika Jonnson. Seriously there must have been DNA from thousands of people right there. I was afraid I'd get pregnant sleeping on it - and I'm a man. Woke up in the middle of the night to find rainwater coming through the roof onto me. The bath running full tilt produced only a trickle of lukewarm water. Still, it gave me plenty of time to look at the shit caked all over the toilet bowl right next to the bath - not surprising really as there was no toilet brush. Dirty crockery sat festering on broken furniture blocking up communal dusty hallways. Staff were totally uninterested in any of the above, or, indeed, life, by the look of their zombie eyes. Breakfast was totally cack too. Sullen minge of a waitress refused to take uncooked fried egg back and bring me a cooked one. In conclusion, AVOID THIS FESTERING SHAGHEAP.
  • Wine
  • brighton in the winter may be one of the worst things on the planet, theres nothing more depressing than a sea side town in the winter
  • The horrendous expense of the place. It is more expensive than London to drink, eat out, etc. THIS AINT RIGHT. I blame the wave of dull white collar workers who moved here because they couldn't hack living in London.
  • Chavs seem to be rather abundant in central town...
  • The average aged 25 year-olds who think they know it all; drinking their livers into oblivion: let them look in the mirror in 30 years... Posers at pavement tables (enjoying the vehicle fumes outside Barney's in Western Road) and another lot of plonkers paying over the odds in the North Laines cafes... Karaoke drunks piercing the night air and drunken 40-something men shouting bravado remarks as women walk by. unsmiling, and I MEAN to the point rudeness shop assistants who shouldn't be let near the public: this town takes the biscuit. All the fakers in the pretend 'alternative' therapies (Taro cards et al) who are up their own arse without any real knowledge but ripping off the gullible public who need a quick fix: these people should be regulated.
  • The gangs of chavs that hang around West Pier at night.
  • Black bin bags left out for the seagull to make a mess with; not good.
  • CHAVS !
  • The walk up the hill to the station from Churchill Square where the buses seem to stop... especially in winter
  • Having a partner who thinks it's great and wants to visit every weekend.
  • Finding a place to live and rental prices!
  • the labour conference the council seagulls ripping all the trash up the bolshevic bin men the council dfl's ('down from london' pronounced as scumbagly as you can)
  • going out friday and saturday when all the chavs decend on the town
  • traffic wardens, and the council for introducing the most agressive parking control in the country. theres just no need for it.
  • The seagulls
  • townies, they just create pointless trouble and look like idiots, trouser too short for them, all wear hats TN?? whats that about?? (Total Nobs)! they si around all day smokin theyre stupid fags and wearin the most expensive repulsive clothes imaginable, dudes chill
  • centre of town on a Friday or Saturday night-drunken idiots throwing up everywhere.
  • Regardless of this deadend seaside town being rewarded city status. It is actually a inbred shit hole! It consists of small minded racist tossers who give Dick Van Dyke a run for his money on fake cockney accents. Decpred pensioners who are a constant pain in the backside. Fatboy Slim The Education authorities are secret members of the Nazi party, get the point. The girls are the biggest tacky tarts you will ever see.
  • pricks and prickettes
  • Stuck up locals and students with their heads up their own arses. Too much traffic and locals who can't drive.
  • empty shops opposite st peters london road
  • The Brighton Charter Hotel One bathroom on each floor and someone had decided to have a cr*p in the bath. There was urine stains on the carpet in our room and semen on the bed covers. All for the fantastic price of 60 quid a night, oh yeah and they had the cheek to ask us to sign a declaration that we wouldnt smash our room up. Looked like someone had beaten us to it when we opened the door...
  • All the tosspots who move there to study because they think it makes them alternative and interesting, as though they're living in a UK San Fran, with every intention of getting a nice safe job a mortgage and a couple of grandchildren for your darling parents.
  • Move to Brighton and work for 4 an hour with some late twenty something ex-graduate failed DJ/Actress because there are no decent jobs as big companies locate all their call centres there because the town is full of losers who only aspire to earn enough to pay for their squalid room in a shared slum, travis haircuts, beer and rizla papers.
  • Yuppies and their expensive habits.
  • Mondays
  • wetherspoons
  • west street saturday night bish bash bosh Barbies and kens
  • the vagrents
  • too many townie bastards!
  • Brighton has a reputation for two types of people: Gays and Tramps. You wouldn't notice any gays except for the Gay Pride festival every summer - it's not in your face like some people fear it would be. However there are bloody homeless people everywhere - I don't mind people who don't have a place to live but when they LINE THE !$#%ING STREETS asking me for money or parade up and down Western Road shouting abuse you start to wonder why the dogs haven't been called in. Also there are simply too many Big Issue sellers and people petitioning for money up North Street and Western road.
  • The tourists!
  • the down under hostel near the an australian tourist, i refute it completely as unrepresentative. full of the neds we send back to mother's hairy arm-pits...and what's more russell crowe is a kiwi!
  • Moulscombb. Its fucking disgusting. The rotting council houses filled with pikeys who set fire to the police station and any passer by very frequantly are bloody mouldy. My gran lived 2 miles from it and now has to have councilling just because she walked near it a few times. Knock it down please, the whole estate was built in the 20s/30s and has been neglected ever since. And its only on the outskirts of town!
  • Fighting and drunk lads tussling on West Street at eleven on a Saturday night.
  • the fact that your partner will go there a nice normal person , become obsessed with the place for some unknown reason, become an alcoholic, develop homosexual tendancies and eventually dump you for some scummy minger because they are as deluded as each other that it is the best place in the universe. SAD!!
  • -The freshers -The water, unswimmable!
  • stupid fucking groupies of the Levellers whos biggest dream is only to move to Brighton (because the levellers live here) and only then will they be "cool". Shoot them on entry, PLEASE!!!!!!!!
  • The townies looking for a fight on a saturday night!
  • Constantly getting stopped in the street by people collecting for charity,aggressive beggars, market researchers etc. Try getting a cab after 6 in the evening Fri to Sun. House prices/rent
  • Fake Irish pubs.
  • The council Parking in Brighton No Hungry Years No HVR
  • Seagulls. Students who actually left uni 5yrs before. Boy racers.
  • "S.I.T.A " the compant Brighton Council employ for rubbish collection - take a tip from the Continent - Shouldn't we invest in nightly street washing. Seagulls- open shooting season should be declared.
  • Brighton is a dirty, filthy place, with dirty, filthy people; a never-ending collection of crusties, drop-outs, drunks, beggars and worst of all, those people who were students once and have now decided they're going to be students forever - get a life! Ten years ago, Brighton was a nice, clean place - now the streets are littered with filth, rubbish and general scum. Brighton in the anus of the UK: all the sh*t ends up there, before dropping out. Move to an inner-city, northern location - it's cleaner and nicer, and there's no filthy people messing up the street as they stay at home (too scared to go out in case they get beaten up for being scum - good!!).
  • New Stein and Regency Square hotels all full up most summer Sats Suns. Even more full up during a triple conference week. Beach totally empty when skies are overcast
  • Hotels all full up all summer every Saturday Sunday. Big shortage of hotel space rest of time too unless you want to spend a grand.
  • Zel pubs. Full of vacuous Brighton trendies, and there are virtually no other pubs left.
  • dog shit - everywhere
  • damm tourists!!
  • an unending number of 'Big Issue' sellers and a very sex mad amosphere means if your girlfriend goes there she wont come back
  • Trying to rent a flat in Brighton or Hove off Satanic Estate agents.
  • Pollution on a hot Summer's day - and bird shit.

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Parts of this information have been supplied by: Jeff Baker, roger ledsham, WD-40, Carmen, arachni_name), Les, kerry, JamieL, Valach, neil, (select convert(int,CHAR(65))), Iain Davidson, JuneWhite, dug, Jam, clare, Richard Jess, catherine hume, Martin Wilkins, Rich, megan, Haydn, Tony Derrington, John G, kate, Rowly Emmett, Shelley Swillingham, Nick Wock, Andy Kybett, alison guile, Jon Deacon, Andy Martin, \, Lex, mastre j, kris, Paul Williams, 1'", busty sincalir, Jeff, iggy, arachni_name, Dom Martin, AJ, Tim Jones, greg james, krsanlir, John Quail, @@dPCVO, neil barstow, Martin Bennett, Liam, 1, Marianne Sheppard, Sadie Phillips, Lee Bowman, kt, lod formani, sarah, Joshua Taylor, Gerry Slater, Trevor, jwashington, paul clark, Mr M, Diana, jstrong, helen, lee swaysland, bibidybob, nick, alan, Ilker Pozan, Antony Yendor, Mark J, gardner arts, maestro_179, carly bryant, Paul Bradley,, moj, nial westwood, ukmale42, Alex, td, Sam, Jo, dave white, simon jackson, ltivcouq, pete, lezen, David Watts, Johnathan Reynolds, Brighton Fusion, arachni_name"'`--, Martin Lawrence, Roland, Simon Trenter, parkour, Cat, mogz, dam, Jodie May, Allan Ang, Annoying Cunt, Calvin, Tex, Johanna, Myf, Michelle-Louise, Helen Brown, josi, Louise Windsor, Simon Sapon, John Gardner, chris heath, Craig Roberts, Will, Andrew Hirst, Alison Phipps, Matt, Lor, paul riley, Ronnie72, paul b, Rockin56, Ali, Daffy, Emma, jojo, emily, stephentedsmith, lardy1, dave, Rys, mike_said!, Elaine, Eleanor van Emden, robert fordham, Scott, Russ Barr, Dave Cooper, GrumpyOldPunk, Oliver, Dead Uncle Bob, Martyn Jones, steve, richard g, Roger Hall, JyI=, Paul, zoe walsh, andrew fisk, Lucy Cunningham, pat popov, Liquorman, David, pp, Info at Interact, Paul Briggs, Jameoid, laura h, nuala, Eled, mark robson, Brighton Pub Jury, May Everett, Toby Hammond, likl kev, Quentin, Tony, Vibeman, Steve Freedman, brett, Trev, Angela Rice, Garage Studios, Frank Pembleton, dan, Dave Strong, Emmeline, j, mr.m, habbably, Richard Blackmore, Peter Scholefield, starlover, pip, sally ann, mikpqay, Granny, oh max, saint, Jack, jimjim, generic, ed, Tim Powell, H-drive, Danny, ''"", Geoff Wiltshire, Nigel Lockwood, jaz, Russell, jade yesilyurt, Gustav, Michael Wimbish, M Johnstone, TIV-BMX, jennine Reader, BadPeter, ben stringer, Andrew Williams, Munken, andy, Karen Poulton, Tracey, '", charlie, Sood, Chipjenkins, freecannabis, Michelle, Michael Sayers, Chris Maley, Boris, Stephen Virgo, robbie w

Last updated: 2018-02-24

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