The Knowhere Guide

Pubs in Maidenhead, Berkshire*

The place to go for a lazy afternoon, pub quiz or last call

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  • Quick Pub Review. The Bear - Clean, comfortable, cheap prices - but sadly attracts some very unpleasant types in the garden - based on past visits, seems to be a place which attracts some horrible scum racist types... Hobgoblin - A "rocker" or "indie" pub with a distinct crowd, sometimes some live bands on though. White Horse - No real reason to go here other than on a pub crawl - average price, Sky sports - nothing notable. The Rose - As per White Horse Smokey Joes - In theory a club, a bit rough and ready, but some decent live bands, no kids, and it's a laugh. Heroes - See Smokey Joes but for Kids Ivory Lounge - Has pretentions of class (and appeared in an MTV Sweet 16 show), but in reality, overpriced. 2 for 1 cocktails worth it. Que Pasa - Chain Pub. Say no more. Bell - Best pub in Maidenhead. Good value, loads of quiz machines/pool tables, jukebox, and about 30 TVs for all sport... Greyhound - Wetherspoons = cheap drinks, kids, tramps in the day, stinks of p***. Club Roma - Repainted Chicago Rock. The Anchor - Horrible, rough pub which actually has a lot of charm - Sky Sports and the best Jukebox in Maidenhead. Have a soft spot for this place. Honeypot - Revolting Lapdancing place run by gangsters. Unless you are a desperate bloke - very desperate - steer clear. Noctors - Rough, but has good entertainment and free pool. Phatz Bar - Horrible place, combination of Heroes and a public toilet. Hand and Flowers - Second Best pub in Maidenhead. Relaxed, older crowd, Live Parrot in the bar and a brilliant spicy bloody mary!
  • golden harp in furze platt is crap.... for an enjoyable drink try the farmer boy
  • The Hob Goblin: V good if u would like to have a quite drink or like the busy atmosphere, fridays and saturdays r good there, ocassionally wednesdays r good, recently been re-furbished by the good old tommy. Phatz Bar: Good for the music, up-to date pop n remixes, currently holding live rock bands on thursdays. good on a wednesday n saturday night. Chicagos: Can be alrite if there holding some kind of party or actually look half descent if u walk past. The Honey Pot: Some of the girls r a bit..well....nasty. but if thats wat ur after, then go there. Que Pasa: Can get v busy on a friday night, nice to go there for lunch during the day, but when it does get busy, good luck at getting a drink or a sit. Hereos: Can be good, bit of a small venue but brilliant if ur wiv a good group of friend. Smokey Joes: Wednesday night, student night so 18 n over, but friday n saturday r over 21 so thats a bit crap. Brilliant place to go 2, musics good n the live bands r brilliant. especially the one recently wiv the v nice lady singing. cant remember there name though. Racks pool n snooker club: situated above mcdonalds, v good no matter wat time of day n the pool n snooker r good 2. dont be intimadated by justina, shes a v lovely lady really. big up hannah 4 sticking it out n gettin assistant manager, woop woop! The Grenfell: down nr the river v nice local pub, if ur looking to have a good time, even if ur on ur own, locals r great ppl, v friendly n actually can hold a conversation wiv u. Cheap house doubles n lovely bar staff. The landladies are v nice n funny, great to chat to. Have a look some time. thats about it for pubs n clubs in maidenhead, well....that r half descent.
  • Thatch, Cox Green sometimes can be good, The Hobgoblin in the town centre very funky laid back.. outdoor garden in summer...
  • The Bear has got a 2am licence good if you dont want to pay a fiver to get in to smokey joes. The doormen are fit and friendly till you do something stupid like start a fight!!!! Most of the the people who go there seem to be about the 18 to 23 age group. the booze isnt too expensive.
  • The Bell, the bear, the hob and the greyhound in town. Many locals usually full of old white right wing men nursing pints and cursing foreigners.
  • 1st snogged my boyfriend in Pinkertons, ten long years ago. Now it is a block of flats -lovely.
  • The Hob attracts the younger side of the over 18s..
  • Bar Soviet was terrible so thank god that it's been taken over by a nice bunch of chaps and opened as Phatz Bar, they've decorated extensively and introduced a really good music policy and a great atmosphere, bout time too cause it's a great venue.
  • The Toad on the clocktower (or something like that) - diagonally opposite the cinema on 'grenfell island' - a classier type of 'chicago rock cafe', sambuca a bit pricey though. open till 1am i think, and a good laugh.
  • The Crown - Boyn Hill , great boozer
  • roof - Proper BOH and no shit music
  • We love the Beehive they don't mind muddy paintballers the service is excelent the food even better and they have lovley log fires in the winter.
  • god no but my mum yes MY MUM (and i'm 30) likes the vodka bar even the bottles look like they're full of stool samples
  • The Newt caters for an alternative crowd of distinction.No drum and Bass and check your attitude by the door.Mondays metal/rock disco Tuesdays Cafe Bongo Wednesdays Goth nite Thurs,Fri and Sat live bands sun Hangover lounge
  • The Hobgoblin used to be the kiddie's playground, but go in there. The people and staff are really friendly. No real dress code - only downside is it shuts at 11.
  • Fuck the pubs, their all for the fuckin trendys or for under age twats!in midenhood you either get stoned and smash shit up or try to look 25 when your 15 and go to the pubs!
  • Writing this in September 2002. - Hobgoblin is still full of fresh faced youthfulness. Much bigger now, but still gay/media types taking too long to serve folks. Beer garden is OK. - Maidenhead now boasts a 'JD Wetherspoons' called The Greyhound. Next to The Roof in Queens Street, this place serves the cheapest beers in town, and fine food too. Usually busy, it's taking trade from everywhere else left right and centre. - Opposite The Roof (poncy pub/restaurant come wine bar place and appaling 'roof garden' shaded spot up top) is 'The Honeypot' . Yes, to add to the appeal of our wonderful town we have a place for folks to look at the wonder of the female form. 20 quid gets you a complete ey-ful. And bottles are upwards of 3 quid.
  • Berkshires Premiere Live music event! "New Rock Fallacy" featuring Rage DC, Jecano, Blind II Reality, Sextodecimo and Method.One all play live @ Newt & Cucumber, 2 Bridge Street, Maidenhead on Thursday 19th September. National magazine present at the event. Doors at 7:00pm. Finishes midnight. Not to be missed!
  • The bell , The bear hotel
  • The Bell- steer clear if you are not from a council estate like Cox Green. The Bear, seedy and full of males with too much testosterone but lively and plays normal music. The Hobgoblin, only if you are into grunge. The Roof, crap. Chicago's-unfortunately the only kinda normal place you can actually go til 1 am.Full of old tarts and dirty old men. Get a chinese from anywhere, especially the place opposite Chicago's, it's all good at 1.30 am. Be prepared to wait for about an hour for a taxi and have idiots starting fights in the queue. The Windsor Castle, its' ok. Quiet. Shire Horse, gorgeous food,good atmosphere and is very 'villagey'. The Pond House,crap food,very cliquey,full of young people who are up there own back sides. Bar 38, lively with good music. Heroes is much the same.
  • Literally hundreds of pubs have sprung up.This has led to a leading councillor's complaints that Maidenhead is becoming like a Spanish holiday resort.Not a holiday i'd wish on Osama Bin Laden, i can assure you.
  • Maidenhead is full of bars and pubs, yet only one of them is of any good (The newest - The Roof). No-one with half a brain comes into Town anymore as there is nothing to come into Town for ! It seems all that is left is bored office workers and irritating fighting inbreds - what's going on ?! The town definately needs a semi decent club that opens past midnight and is not full of muppets and cabbages (Chicagos) Either that or the town's nightlife is going to continue to deteriorate until it's like Slough.......someone do something. RE-OPEN SKINDLES & VALBONNES - the campaign starts here......
  • The Hobgoblin :- Hurray Matt the old manager is back in town leaving that old hag called sue who looked like somebody had lit a fire in her face and put it out with a shovel. How i am going to miss her sitting at the end of the bar gawking at everybody who walked in while she chainsmoked her b&h.... What was it you said to me sue? You will never make it as a DJ! Well whos playing all round the uk and abroad now?
  • The Pond House is it still there Skindles era gone for ever
  • erm-- i wouldn't bother unless you are a slut, or a townie- into garage music, fights or small pubs with old blokes perving. got to reading instead- more choice!(yr 2001)
  • The tragic loss of BJ's (formerly The Nag's Head) in Grenfell Road will be forever mourned.
  • Hobgoblin is definately getting better - only pub in town to play decent rock music...... and sensible beer prices !!!!!!!!
  • The Bell for pool, drug dealers and alcoholics. Hobgoblin is the alternative one. The Bear if you're a townie. The Hand and Flowers' if you're gay.
  • where has BJ's gone? they knocked dowm to build some flats, bastards, only decent pub in town
  • The hob is the only decent place in town. The newt, bear and heroes are full of men who all dress the same and th girls are just as bad. With their short skirts and low cut tops, dancing really badly to songs that by definition suck!
  • TIP: - If you drop your change, DO NOT pick it up. Lots of pubs, but full of undesirables!
  • As an ex-pat of Maidenhead, I used to drink in the Hobgoblin. It's a popular place with a regular crowd - although unfortunately many underage sprogs try their luck at getting served - although this is a short-lived phenonmenon and only jappens in the Summer. Behind the bar, there is a list of people who have been banned from drinking in Maidenhead, which can be quite fun to see which people you know are on there - usually the dumb asses from school who used to pick on everyone. These people can be found drinking in The Bell, which is a popular criminal haunt. Anyway, back to the Hobgoblin. Getting served can take a long time - because the bar staff are too busy preening themselves (that includes the guys) and getting up to idiotic antics. To work in the Hobgoblin, you need several assets: 1) Large breasts for the girls 2) Have to be gay for the boys 3) Believe that you are the most important person in the world, and that everyone is scum. Fortunately, it's easy to make these people cry by simply telling them they're a bunch of wannabe media-whores. The only light relief is barman Matt Green, who actually makes the place entertaining with his devil-may-care attitude to both punters and staff. His favourite hobby is throwing icecubes into the overhead fans and watching the ice splinter and scatter in random directions, breaking glasses and mirrors in the process. Top one
  • Any where they dont have DJ mixing from cd's, The goblin has got very good for proper dj's cheers Matt
  • pond house, bath road, maidenhead great beer, atmosphere and people.
  • Who do you think you are to yawn at the Shire Horse Inn. I have been drinking in there fore about 2 years and it is a very friendly Quite Pub. Unfortunatly for the locals its closing down in the middle of this year to re-open as a resturant which has really upset the locals. The one advantage is that it is not full of Teanages
  • BJs - We mourn your loss! The death of the only great music venue in Maidenhead. Well Ceed played there a few times anyway!
  • Stag & Hounds, Lee Lane, Pinkneys Green. Traditional pub set in the beautiful Berkshire countryside. Great home cooking and lovely garden for summer nights.
  • The Jack Of Both Sides has died completely. You'll be lucky to see more than ten people in there, even at the weekend. The Bell is good for a game of pool, the the people it attracts has a lot to be desired. Recently refurbished, but still has the vile patterned carpet! Pinkertons has improved, not so many teeny boppers and it now has a dance floor so you can boogie the night away. The Bear has recently been refurbished, but general opinion of it's makeover isn't generally very high. And they spent over 1 million on it... One of the newest arrivals in Maidenhead is The Flood and Firkin. A good pub, but far to big. No matter how busy it is, it's never full so you don't get much of an atmosphere in there.
  • Hobgoblin
  • The Bell - lovely (?!?)
  • The Bear (OK, large pavement area)
    The Bear, open till 12 Wednesday - Saturday, makes up for the lack of a decent normal club. Although a bit of meat market these days. At least most people are over 12.
  • The Bell is only worth visiting if you fancy being harassed by a bunch of Kevs.
  • The Dumb Bell - Currently closed for refurbishment and clearing of body parts.
  • The Hobgoblin is not bad but the kids are getting younger. (Not the same since Little Dave left)
  • The Shire Horse - Yawn!
  • The Anchor - Good for those who want to stick around.
  • The Pond House is not bad for a pint and a game of pool without being surrounded by aggressive retards (see The Bell).
  • Hero's Bar - The place to go for late night drinking and loud house music. It can get crowded, but most of the people are safe and friendly.
  • The Jack - Full to the brim of young 'uns - if you want to know what it feels like to see a primary school drunk - go there.
  • The New Inn - Typical Local pub. Great for the quiet pint and game of pool. Good food but a bit out of the way. Full of friendly locals.
  • The Hobgoblin is a cracking pub. Good beer.
  • Golden Harp: The only pub in the Furze Platt area. Lots of kids from Furze Platt School go there ;-). Smokey atmosphere.
  • The 'Hand and Flowers', Queen Street; good hand pulled pints, unspoilt decor and no juke box or lairy teenagers.
  • The 'Portland', West Street is also passable, and you may sometimes linger here.
  • 'Pinkertons', High Street is a themed American bar, with diner in a separate room. It's for the bottled lager brigade, but it seems to be better done than most and attracts a more mature clientele than most of its ilk.
  • I'd definitely include the 'Jack of Both Sides' in your Worst of Maidenhead section, it's strictly for learner-drinkers.
  • The Vine in Market St was taken over about a year ago and tends not to be frequented by the low life often to be found in the Jack of Both sides, so one can have a decent beer and a reasonable conversation without the full blast juke box. Further afield The Bell and The Dragon at Cookham has new management: the restaurant has been re decorated and is a must if you have recently had a very large tax rebate.
  • Who the hell are you? And what gives you the right to judge the towns of Britain? We've just read your guide to Maidenhead - when was the last time you were there? We have just relocated to Maidenhead and have made it our mission to check out the establishments you have been so quick to condemn. In the last few weeks The Jack and the Hobgoblin have increased their average age by at least ten years (and they're not all lecherous old gits looking for young girls).
  • Best Pub: The Swan Vaults - noisy, great food at lunch times, and generally a good laugh. On Market Street. It's a nice dark place (basement of a cafe, to be precise), and though occupied by the people from the computer firm across the road during the week, it's very lively at the weekends. The Hobgoblin and Jack both have a very young crowd, and always have done. The Stag and Hounds out on Pinkneys Green is a family type old fashioned pub of the highest standards. One of the best around with no drunken teenagers.
  • Best pubs: Hand and Flowers - quiet, traditional. Hobgoblin - busy and lively without the trouble at The Bear.

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Last updated: 2009-09-23

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