The Knowhere Guide

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else in Melksham, Wiltshire*

The things which can't be categorised

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The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else
  • Short lived punk outfit ARMIES OF ANGER came out of Melksham in 2007, two of them ten formed NO MANIFESTO with others...
  • Melksham has over 40 hair salons
  • Melksham is a nice place but its very boring for any body under 20. theres nothing really exciting for kids to do apart for hang around bus stops.
  • AMBER HOME APPLIANCE CENTRE, 29 - 31 Bank Street, Melksham. The BEST shop in Melksham selling a varied range of home appliances at SENSIBLE prices. You WILL be served by knowledgeable staff and WILL NOT be pressurised into buying something you don't want or need. Try us FIRST. You won't need to go anywhere else!
  • HISTORICAL MEMORIES FROM FELLOW MELSHAMITE. (1968 - 1993). Well, I happened to stroll upon the website for Melksham, and I tell ya I was glad to find there's still humour attached to the old place. I'm sending this from the 'best place in the world' or so I was, am and are told everyday by the bloody Auzzies. But, having lived here in Perth, Western Australia for the past seven years, (from 25 yrs to now 32), there are certain things I miss about dear old Melkshambles, or whatever it's turned into since I departed its street corners and alleyways watching and waiting for something great to happen. But then it never did. Yet, the pubs were always full of the most dubuious of characters, who always knew when there was going to be a Police raid, sometimes even before the Police did. And it was great to have people who knew ya and recognised ya. There's one thing about Melksham pubs they always had character, The Bear in particular but I hear that even that place has had its reign. And talking of rain do you need anymore, hah, only joking, it's nice to talk about the watery substance, sending this little ditty from one of the driest places on earth. Well, I've gotta be going soon, I'm off out to the pub, (if you can call it that), some tin shed set-up, and lots of middies and mates, and if you're lucky (or unlucky - dependant on gender), a naked body serving you up something skimpy!! Enough of that or you'll all desert dear old Melksham, and I haven't even told you that the best years of me life were spent there, George Ward School (where I learned to smoke), Canberra Youth Centre (where I learned to grope), and Melksham Park where I learned - there's lots of bloody birds and bees!!! M.E.L.K.S.H.A.M. - "MAY EVERYONE LIVE KINDLY SINCE HARBOURING the ABSENCE of MICHELLE!!!!". See ya, or should I say Good day Mates.
  • HISTORICAL MEMORIES FROM FELLOW MELSHAMITE. (1968 - 1993). Well, I happened to stroll upon the website for Melksham, and I tell ya I was glad to find there's still humour attached to the old place. I'm sending this from the 'best place in the world' or so I was, am and are told everyday by the bloody Auzzies. But, having lived here in Perth, Western Australia for the past seven years, (from 25 yrs to now 32), there are certain things I miss about dear old Melkshambles, or whatever it's turned into since I departed its street corners and alleyways watching and waiting for something great to happen. But then it never did. Yet, the pubs were always full of the most dubuious of characters, who always knew when there was going to be a Police raid, sometimes even before the Police did. And it was great to have people who knew ya and recognised ya. There's one thing about Melksham pubs they always had character, The Bear in particular but I hear that even that place has had its reign. And talking of rain do you need anymore, hah, only joking, it's nice to talk about the watery substance, sending this little ditty from one of the driest places on earth. Well, I've gotta be going soon, I'm off out to the pub, (if you can call it that), some tin shed set-up, and lots of middies and mates, and if you're lucky (or unlucky - dependant on gender), a naked body serving you up something skimpy!! Enough of that or you'll all desert dear old Melksham, and I haven't even told you that the best years of me life were spent there, George Ward School (where I learned to smoke), Canberra Youth Centre (where I learned to grope), and Melksham Park where I learned - there's lots of bloody birds and bees!!! M.E.L.K.S.H.A.M. - "MAY EVERYONE LIVE KINDLY SINCE HARBOURING the ABSENCE of MICHELLE!!!!". See ya, or should I say Good day Mates.
  • Although Melksham is not the greatest little town in the world it is certainly not the worst. Since I left 18 months ago to come to uni, the additions to Melksham included: McDonalds (wow), Aldi (cheap), Peacocks (what the?) and a refurbished 'Tavern' What the hell is happening? But Trowbridge is shite, so is Chippenham. The only good place nearby is Bath.
  • Why do we now have a Fire Place shop, who the fcuk is going to buy a firplace.
  • We've got not one but two Roundhouses! and there is only on scummy oxford fan that I know of. STFC.
  • Now let me tell you about some of the good and bad things about Melksham; I have lived there for all of my life (I'm 20 by the way) and at the moment I'm living in Oxford and I miss it loads. If you want to hit the high spots, get on down to Gateway (Somerfield) Car park and check out all the boy racers, it's enough to give anyone a good laugh. HINT: If you're a bloke (fit or mingin) watch out for the sad little girls at the bus stop. They'll eat you alive... and they're not fussy.
  • Not a lot to do in Melksham itself, but the area is rich in history?! Decent stuff to be found within a half hour drive.
  • Interesting Melksham facts
    • Melksham is famous for appearing in the "100 most violent towns in Britain" listings in the early 1980s, prompting a promised visit by Douglas Hurd, who sadly never materialised.
    • Melksham is a Labour rose in a fetid sea of blue, with flecks of saffron yellow.
    • Melksham has the highest ration of discount shops, chemists, pubs and banks to 'good' shops in the world (surely!) - an amazing 26-1 average.
    • Residents or 'Melkshamites', as they are disparagingly referred to, have a wide range of hobbies, from drinking on the weekend across the whole gamut of human experience to fighting on the weekend, we even find time to rent videos and eat chips ! (No proper fast food within 20 miles, naturally) GREAT!
    • Famous media moments in Melksham's history
      • Barbara Woodhouse, ex-resident of a nearby village, once said "Hello Melksham" on the "Multi Coloured Swap Shop"!
      • Phil Parkes, a local resident, pretends that he keeps Christmas decorations up all year and celebrates Christmas every day! So far he has fooled "The Big Breakfast", "The Sun (bastards)" and "Noels House Party" - I kid you not!!
      • Famous golfing commentator Peter Aliss once visited Avon Industial Polymers (Melksham's main employer by some considerable margin) to sponge some free golf grips! And I held his clubs!!!!! I kid you not!
      • Leekes have opened a new superstore on the outskirts of Melksham. This completely killed all semblance of trade in the town centre, but more importantly, it got Melksham onto the television on a regular basis as the advert was shot at the Melksham store!!!!
      • So, as you can see, the town's detractors are not to be believed when they say the only reason you go into Melksham is to make you homesick. Come to sunny Melksham, the Bolton of the South West!
      • I have enjoyed living in Melksham for the last seven years and find the location very convenient. Admittedly, there isn't a Marks & Spencer's, an HMV store, etc., but with the City of Bath only 11 miles west, Chippenham 7 miles north and Trowbridge 5 miles west, there are plenty of shops and outlets to chose from. With neighbouring Lacock, Bradford-on-Avon, Salisbury plain and towns of Marlborough and Salisbury less than 40 minutes drive, Melksham is infact a very attractive place to live. To go north, south, east or west, Melksham could not have a better road network servicing it. The Barge on the Kennet and Avon canal is a great drinking hole, as is the Red Lion at Lacock and the Somerset Arms in Semington. In fact, with the rising investment into Melksham town, such as the shopping village on the old GEC site and the planned Sainsbury's superstore, there is not much else you could hope for.
      • As I was whiling away the hours slaving over a terminal situation up here in Liverpool I happened to come across this site. At first I was aghast that people had heard of Melksham as I have spent several years of telling people that I came from near Bath. Although I grew up in the little desolate town that is now mainly a convenient place to live (that is in a house, but not to live and have fun in, in the generic sense). I have succumbed to the notion that it is mainly a watering hole. It was great as a meeting place at the end of university terms. But then as time goes on it's either great for the under 16s and that's just in the pubs or for the over 40s. It may appear that I am slagging the place of well to some extent I am. Trade in the community has taken a real turn for the worse unless you own a pub. I was also disappointed on my last sortie home that the planned factory outlet was no longer, let alone the petitions that happened against yet another Supermarket coming to the town, even if it is a much needed quality wholesalers. Melksham used to be a decent place to live and grow up in but then as you get older you start to realise that there is more to life and start venturing out to greater places. It will always hold a fond place in my memories but that is about it. Happy living country bumpkins!!!!!!
      • Lived there 17 tears and I can't say I like it very much, boring, dull, lifeless and depressing probably sum up the town in my own opinion anyway!!!
      • In the Second World War soldiers used to send letters home to their sweethearts with MELKSHAM written boldly on the back. It stood for May Everyone's Love Know Such Happiness As Mine.

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      Credits

      All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

      Parts of this information have been supplied by: Cassian, Robert Hodgson, S Hancock, ghfdj, aaron, SM1, katie chandler, julian goreing, Paul Lewis, Ellie, Ptolemy, Gavin Horne, Dan, Ben J. Thomas, Emma Battensby, philip alford, Daniel, Doug Chapman, Joe, generic, Alice, Joon, derek, Kevin Brant, Ben, Amanda, Grapes Regular, olaf, Snow & Skate, Joe Hillman, steve, Nick, ben scott, Studio 308, Christy, Sam Basting, Michelle Demkiv (nee Petty), Suzanne, Judith Howard, Mark Peaple, Rob Hamilton, helen clark, julie, Avril Burdidge, paul, alan beesby, Skater

      Last updated: 2009-07-19

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