The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Tyne and Wear*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • WATCH OUT WHEN YOU ARE APPROACHING THE A1 AS THERE IS A GIRL WHO FREQUENTLY RUNS ACROSS IT TO GET AN ICE CREAM.
  • Unless it's from an actual geordie, IGNORE WHAT IS ON THIS LIST. It's all lies.
  • the people the whole stinking place is a load of shite
  • Arrogant southern students who are more obnoxious than charvers. Charvers, but no worse then anywhere else I spose. Its windy and grey most of the time.
  • The local women are total slags Southern students who think they are superior but are not Gangs of thugs on the Metro at night who are just looking for trouble Idiotic pricks who cannot handle their alcohol fighting on weekend nights Large women shivering in tiny skirts and tops on winter evenings around the bigg market. Goose pimples and blue viens showing through is the ULTIMATE fashion accessory for women in Newcastle - nothing is seen as more attractive. Forget looking gorgeous with make up - as long as your skin is blue you will pull. Big gangs of Charvas Teenagers with pushchairs, tracksuits and trainers, but thick make up and huge gold hoop earrings Big groups of teens on the green at weekends who all think they are so alternative but they all look the same
  • CHARVS
  • I am a girl from Newcastle. Can I say that I do not wear 12 scrunchies, I dont even wear 1. I have never worn Kappa or Adidas in my life. I used to be a shop assistant and had a bunch of flowers bought for me for my service, therefore all shop assistants are NOT arrogant. Surely its completely stereotypical and narrowminded to suggest so. Oh and my name is not Shazza and I do not "drop my knickers for a cheap drink" you should be so lucky.
  • sunderland shirts
  • full of stupid fat ugly inbred geordie retards, the entire population of newcastle is either a chav or on the dole or both, try telling the difference between a geordie lass and a leper ! its impossible
  • La Tasca on the quayside, i have been twice and both times we sat down and were told they didnt have enough time to make what we want so could we choose from preselected menu of ready made meals.
  • la Tasca on the quayside, ive been in twice now and both times have been sat down given a menu then when ordering have been told that they dont have time to make what we want so we would have to choose from a few preselected ready made meals and pay and obscene amount of money for it. The sangria is also all ice.
  • the green stage door I dont not like hippies or goths their just a little bit depressing.
  • This city is full of murderers! The whole medical lot decided that I didn't go to the loo because I was a basket case. That maight be true but I am not that Bad. I was banned from going back to Liverpool to see family for two years! that was untill they discovered that I had a baggy bowl and was blocked up. Two years without going anywhere but Newcastle and school. It took the North West to sort me out so if you live in the NE area don't go to their hospitals because they will nearly kill you. Go to the Mancunians and the Scousers, because even though Alder Hey might have given Liverpool a bad name (once again) they will treat you properly and not try to show off their mad house facilities. Have you ever noticed that Newcastle never gets bad mouthed? The Geordies are taking over the world, hitler wanted Newcastle to be his capital! Good job we won then! Liverpool won the title because eventhough the city might have a bad name, the people are always there to support you and have a laugh. Why do you think that so many comedies have been filmed there? Which adds another point. BBC1 took off Merseybeat which was getting better for a Geordie cop programme. Why? Newcastle is a no go area. Keep away! So to all those Geordie doctors reading this... Thanks a bunch!
  • The concrete car park in Gateshead was famous for its appearence in 'Get Carter' unfortunately the things an abolute monstrosity and doesnt present a fitting background for the numerous luxuary apartment blocks along the riverside.
  • The stuck up attitude from common as muck Geordie tossbags who have nothing to be stuck up about combined with the general smugness of every single inhabitant who all think that being a Geordie is something to be proud of and that their football team is an all-conquering English equivalent of Real Madrid - get a grip Geordies, YOU AND YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM ARE LOSERS!!!!!!!!
  • The worst things about Geordies and Newcastleis the ability to have to out do every one else and have to gossip and make up scandelous stories about people that arn't true. If you come from sunderland, the geodies will beat you to a pulp and demand that you give them something that they havn'y got. The countryside around is scrubby (like Team Valley) and the accent is just awful. In the north we have nice accents and one screachy, dirty accent that is the geordy and Tynedale accent. Most people who live in Tynedale are decendents from the thug that were moved out of Newcastle in the 1950s. Haltwhistle, Haydon Bridge could have been really pleasent places but the Newcastle councillers sent the thugs, the druggies out here. And now I am lumbered with wannabe geordies along with the sluts, the druggies and the thugs. IT IS HELL ON EARTH!!! It is like I AM A HUMAN BEING. GET ME OUT OF HERE! The geodies also have the ability to transforn your life. My father was a dedicated scouser before the geodies got their hands on him. Now he talks more highly of Newcastle than Liverpool. I just can't understand this. Can you?
  • security guard, rajjy bastards, charves, old coots
  • The worst thing is the stuck up poshys frm doon south that cum up ere on business thinkin they kna eveythin wen quite frankly they kna jack shit, so keep ya heeds doon a divvint botha lukin at every1 wit ya sneck pointin up in the air, ya posh gits!!
  • Geordie lasses with bright orange faces and huge lion's manes of hair held up with industrial strength lacquer. When you go to a supermarket all the staff on the checkouts are white... where are all the black people? 'You're too old to skate' shouted at you, by people far too old to be wearing a tracksuit. Yeah but not too old to give you a kicking. Girls who milk guys for 600 handbags 'Yes it's real Louis Vuitton', who gives a fuck, it still looks like a 5 rip-off from the quayside market. 'Sorry sir, we don't have it in stock, but we can order it for you, it'll take three weeks.' errr, hello! London is just about three hours on the train, where are you getting the CD / Book / spare part from, Mars? Big hoop earrings a dolphin could easily leap through (yeah girls they make you look really, really classy).
  • The clubs are all shite. The only decent night at Shindig is usually rammed with Shermanites and charvers
  • I have to agree charvas(but the real charvas i.e. those who wear tracksuits and so on). They are the bane of the North East, and their existence means all people who don't dress to an alternatice (and some that do)dress code get called charvas as well. Unfornately alterntives and rockers think they are the bees knees- fat, unattractive women with big hairy leather wearing boyfriends pick on pretty girls because they are jealous and then justify it by using their alternative lifestyle. Trendies verbally abuse everyone. Slappas who give pretty, respectable geordie girls a bad name.
  • Most of Eldon Square now - especially around TopShop, where charvas congregate.
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  • CHARVERS
  • Can be pretty busy
  • A sad dump full of inbred losers. The locals think they are so hard, I do not think so. But when there are 20 of them and only 2 of you I suppose they have a point.
  • The staff in the shops. They could write a book on how to keep the thieves visiting and how to drive out loyal customers. You promise to order anything available that can't be found, and have it within a fortnight. You phone up 2 days later saying it's available. When they turn up, you accuse them of lying, and verbally abuse them and the message taker. When you check and the message was right, and complain you get the abuse all over again. You seem to get even more pleasure if they're near deaths door. You cancel the order, place it somewhere else and get what you want in a day. You wait until someone spends 600 a year in the branch, send a lobotomised neandertal after them, accuse them falsly of theft, and when that's proven not to be the case, beat them up, threaten to stitch them up, and bad mouth them all over the city. Other shops too can lose that valuable income! Ask for something hard to find, some shops say it's not available, yet other places obtain the goods legit, with ease. Why bother to train a new colleague. Let them stew so a big queue builds up behind them and the punters piss off somewhere else to buy things. If you can get staff members with an attitude problem against just about everyone, so they throw the bought goods at the punters, instead of handing them over, it helps drive people away.
  • Shop assistants arrogance - all of them.
  • The fact that Newcastle and Gateshead are making a joint bid for European City of Culture. They should give the award to a pot of yoghurt before they give the award to Newcastle & Gateshead. A pot of yoghurt has loads more culture. Staff in some, NOT ALL, shops are a bit arrogant. Where some are great, helpful, some can be a little malicious, and don't seem to have an atitude of how dare you disturb my peace.
  • It's full of Geordies, the scum of the earth, who seem to think that the height of greatness is playing in a team of hopeless losers in black and white shirts. They have no sense of style, have very high opinions of themselves and their Geordie brethren, seem to think they are god's gift, the women will drop their knickers for a glass of cheap booze, the accent is gutteral and coarse, their football stadium looks like a double glazing accident and the new Millenium Eye bridge looks like a bag of shite.
  • all the southern students. i am a student but from the north and i hate the way southern students wreck the city with there shitty posh accents,there dress sense from oxfam with there big duffer coats and scarfs in the summer. If the south is so good why dont they go a uni down there the fuckin tossers.
  • Newcastle United - The biggest joke in the NE,Freddie Sheppard and Alan Shearer
  • Charvs by the million, gold jewellery, coke can fringes.
  • there is no downside to the toon land and i mean that.
  • the cheesy places...bigg market etc. the stereotyping of the place which is bollocks so long as u dont go to the crappy places
  • groups of kids asking for a fight
  • lets just say some people who dress with Kappa and Addidas all the time.
  • The people are very parochial. Outsiders are not welcomed.
  • Sir John Hall and his clan and his cronies.
  • charvas and scum in the west end
  • The charvas; The tower blocks where the charvas live in the west end.
  • The Angle of the North sculpture. 750,000 could have went to a more fitting tribute to the North.
  • Charvers. You know the ones, in their yellow tracksuits wearing orange and green trainers, with bleached hair and pink scrunchies. And all the sovereign rings they can find. Stay well clear of em.
  • the riverside amd the mayfair both closing down within a year where will bands go now also no more stakeout@the riverside on a friday night. fs
  • Has to be the 'Fat Slags' and the 'Sid the Sexists' who inhabit the Bigg Market at the weekend (to be avoided at all costs unless you like being chatted up by gross men).
  • Not enough skaters, places to buy decks etc.
  • It's similar everywhere to a varying extent but, "when she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad she was evil". The people are generally really lovely but those who are dorks are complete, total and utter picnic-baskets!!!
  • Job opportunities are limited and salaries around here are well below the national average.
  • Since moving South, people are always talking about the trouble that you find in Newcastle. I've seen two fights. The police presence and cameras dotted around have helped a great deal. Basically, for the stories to break out, I suppose it must happen to some extent but I'm lucky enough to have avoided it without even trying so it's my guess that it's exaggerated.
  • Winos who hang around Grey's Monument.
  • You can't get away from football talk and football in pubs, so if you don't like footy, avoid Newcastle.
  • God's own city, you know what it is, pal? A fairly student oriented view with shitloads of missing info. How to avoid the locals decking you. Newcastle is my home town and most of the grief students and visitors get into seems to be cos they get fucked up on cheap drink then barge into people. APOLOGISE and you'll be OK. Newcastle is a very friendly place, but we dont handle fools too well, like many other towns. The cameras in the city centre have helped and all doormen are now registered with the rozzers. Hang loose, stay cool and dont fuck with strangers. Just like anywhere. Newcastle has a bad rep for fights, but it's mostly confined to the estate bars on the edge of town. Check out strange bars before you go in. If they're full of locals off their tits on speed move on. That said, the Big Market is a right laugh if you're up for it. Watching your back is half the fun, but if that don't appeal, stay away.
  • Worst thing? The Sloanies at Henderson Hall
  • The Bigg night revellers are a pain in the arse, and are all keen to either grope or attack you, depending on whether you are local or not. The Metro centre, despite its size, only has about two decent shops. It also is lacking in toilet facilities. You have to queue for years, eventually you give up, and piss all over your bus home through desparation. Neil Urwin being a right moody get. Cheer up, Neil, it's not that bad being sponsored y'know. The breeding of Kappa clad (At the moment in Newcastle Kappa is the label to wear if you like fighting and joyriding) twats with a totally biased opinion of the rest of the universe.
  • NEIL URWIN he is not a moody get , I know him and he's sound as a pound

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Last updated: 2016-10-18

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