The Knowhere Guide

Hookup Spots in Whitehaven, Cumbria*

Inside Information and Stuff Only Locals Know

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Hookup Spots
  • My sweet Porsche. Get all the bitches and the lads. They keep wanting to shag me, but I'm not interested at all. I'm not gay me ey, maybe for the auld arran sully like.
  • Alex Wilson Is Shagging Emily Lucas
  • benches atmirehouse shops lots of dirty trollops waiting for lifts in cars then they gobble u for a lift
  • globe pub on hensingham keep out unless u want bummed full of queers and nonces
  • any pub in shitehaven coz lots of slappers and by god they ugly especially the woodhouse and kells sluts lol
  • anywhere coz they all shag ya for price of a pint realy dirty tramps full of stds
  • hensingham devon rd got a right slag named kaz stamper she suck ya off for bag of chips
  • VV-VV Siobhan.. :L
  • joseph fritzel lives on 29 the oval if you knock he will come out and throew you in his basement ahhhhhh:)
  • his name is liam mccooey he attends train club and has green teeth, very friendly guy if you name is gina he will offer you biscuits, his favoutite train is the one off harry potter and he aspires to ride it some day... pooor guy :)
  • hey thee ladies they screw ya silly and sucker ya willy
  • hey thee ladies they screw ya silly and sucker ya willy
  • sennys bar
  • anywhere coz its full of tramps
  • browns bar now shut god knows where we will go to get the scallys now
  • hensingham swings on a summer night ,get ya self a cheap bottle of wine and you will get a blowjob off the hensingham birds they love it
  • mirehouse shops and skate park or castlepark in town
  • hensingham gill under the bypass they all on meow meow crazy kids
  • browns bar u can get any local lass for a drink and they are very easy if u know what i mean wink wink
  • skate park. bransty post office. hensingham beck.cattlearch on mirehouse.
  • outside the old park night club on a weekend plenty of girls gagging for it
  • outsde wetherspoons on a night if u have a car then u have a shag easy as that
  • bransty post office where all the little chavs hang about...hensingham benchs rough looking indeed..mirehouse shops..basically on every estate in this dull town ..
  • hensingham is the best place to score but youll end up with a std coz they are dirty girls up there lol
  • the cattle arch just off wasdale close mirehouse all the chavs drink and smoke ganja watch out they may mug ya especially if you have drink on ya ..the gill up hensingham where all the gay boys from hensingham hang about wid their chav girl friends with their lambrino and white lightning all acting hard but we all know they are right gay boys
  • hensingham playing feild or down the beck plenty of chav hensingham slappers to be had for a bottle of lambrino
  • St Nicholsons church yard. Them shady trees give many folks a randy room for the night
  • the west coast skate team ( if thats still goin ) at the youth club church thingy
  • the west coast skate team ( if thats still goin ) at the youth club church thingy
  • gallaghers
  • We usally meet up at the bus stop on lowther street before heading of to do watever we r doing that day.
  • castle park on a friday, mount steps, trinity gardens or behind dixons. drivers go to the harbour by the park or mcdonalds.
  • town centre mirehouse shops hensingham square skate park anywhere dark&seedy
  • Skate park for all ur local dealings, Castle park for all chav needs
  • When I lived in whitehaven (im 17 now i live in australia for the last 2 years) when i lived there we'd just spend the whole of summer (If u can call it that) sitting in st nicks churchyard listening to less than jake and then walking into town for no other reason than to see everybody you know. whitehaven is fucking brilliant,and i miss it more than anything.
  • Park.. full of "Marra's" wanting to be something. Heapo's (or whatever it is called now) full of "Marra's" knowing they will never be anything.... Anyone who says "Marra" is a looser... so that's all West Cumbrians...about time BNFL went bang (I know it can't)
  • most kids now seem to hang out at macdonalds, the skate park or the local park if kids do not hand out here people find a private place not likely to get cought by the police and drink.
  • The Strand is a legend spot. Also Gallaghers is better than the Park which has now went proper downhill. Heapo's has got an awesome Hip Hop night where you get to listen to the same songs repeated every 15 minutes due to the DJ's (lack of) record collection. And the "MC" downstairs is a knobhead (MC stands for Massive C*nt)
  • Whitehaven skatepark: Is good but is full of people who dont skate all the time i've been there three times and every time the kiddies have been pissed as fuck and think its cool too pour milk and other bevareges down the ramps, so they get slippy and we fall and hurt ourselves, little Basterds!!!!! it would be good apart from that!
  • Outside woolies on a saturday afternoon, shouting down our mobile phones and laughing to loud so normal people think we are having the best time ever.
  • Mc'Dees
  • Vanilla is the 'Bomb' for sexy stuff - the window is definately worth a view. Nuff skating outside - we do it just to get a glimpse of bootie !!!! Know what i mean boys !! "Classy chicks"!!!!
  • Castle Park
  • The best place now in Whitehaven where the young teens hang out is on a saturday/sunday night is the "Shelter" on Whitehaven train station, top drink for the girls is the cheapo wine "Lambrini and Lambrusco" I bet the staff in the Tesco canteen opposite have had many a good view of what goes on in the "Shelter" at nights!!
  • We used to hang round a park bench up by St James, them days long long ago, before the drug abuse took its toll......
  • I hang out with my best friend in the park next to St James' school. We usually hide behind a wall at night so we can catch a glimse of the fit bird who get undressed in her window over the road. And we do it every night. We can see you.
  • Mc DONALDS.... roy bacer. loadza little boys with nothing better to do than drive a shit car, and try to drive like they look cool. then they lap town !
  • who ever writes on this site needs a life, we r nt slappers jst coz we go on the dock after the park, we have a life instead of wandering around twn looking sad
  • mainly spend afternoons walking up and down king street, expect to c every1 u know at least 3 times. the harbours ok in the summer i guess.
  • a place where everyone hangs aboout is castle park almost everyone from whitehaven school (best school in whitehaven) and st. benedicts (bennies) go to have a good time (which mostly means drink!!)
  • I think that the place for a budding young drop out to hang out is out side of bransty post office. If you wan't to hang out here... there are some tell tale signs and quotes you should use. note:- scooters, white addidas base ball caps/track suits, and bottles of cheap cider(anything with the word electric, lightening, dragon or white)shared by several 12 year olds are very common at this site -up point. You must say "'ERE 'EY!" before making conversation this gets the attention of the scally or towny. Do Not drink anything over 2 and as a mark of respect share it with 6-10 others and pretend to be "kemboed" or "buzzin' of ya tits" lol
  • We especially like getting rite amang the Park for a night full of filth!
  • Whitey rock at sunset sitting on sandstone... what its all about.
  • Whitehaven is always dead. No one is ever out.
  • Mirehouse, home of the crim's, reprobates and all other scum....
  • Probably the best hook up spot is in one of the many churches with many quality young ladies in the congregations..
  • Nothing to do with hook-up spots just some top news that Whitehaven is about to get built a top class skatepark. The boys from G-Ramps are about to start to install a 75000 equipment and park. E-mail me for further info.
  • The Safeway Crew including the Q-busters are known to be the biggest ravers in town and we can drink anyone one from Tescos under the table, our staff partys are legendery through out the store!!!!! Q-busters forever.
  • PUB
  • Usually just outside St Nicholas's church. There are a lot of girls hanging around waiting for all the lads doing laps of town to go past.
  • Walk up and down between Blockbuster at one end of the main shopping street crossing Lowther Street, to the market place at the other, and you will see everyone in town at least twice, walking slowly in the opposite direction. Repeat as necessary.
  • Many of the "chors" (townies, kappa slappers) hang around on the steps leading into St Nicholas Church gardens. It is best to avoid this place if you don't want to be inundated by chors asking for ten pence ("i'll pay you back- honest) or a fag.
  • Outside Woolies.
  • under the bypass by hensingham square its called the gill
  • Behind Whitehaven gaitey cinema(if you like that kind of thing)
  • YMCA on week nights 6-9pm. McDonalds in Carlisle, most Saturdays at about 1pm.
  • On Saturday the best place for youths to hang out is in town looking around the shops, or just messing about.

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All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Dave Carr, tommy, Safety Queen, ste, Horrgakx, Big Staff, p morley, j ward, worky, tim harris, KEVIN ROLINSON, KathleenB, dale hilton, maiph, patrick cannon, johnny b, Smoon, Chris blade, BONDY, Marcus Robson, workington possy, Gary Connelly, Darren Tingle, pat, Steph, Eliot Andersen, lauren, Nora The Nutter, don eaton, Neil Freeman, Tom Sharples, tom mullins, Andrew, ross , w armstrong, Justin Robertson, Garry, b goodwin, nora, Stan Bammy, fozzy, joe bananas, Bev, ,vnsivluikjfnlzdb, nicola, RITA, Andy D, Jamil, kevin suitor, indredcold, Lisa, J. Wilson, Helen Savage, catt, TB, meeeee, paul mcghee, user, ellie carson, Nora The Norwegian Nutter, miss Nosemountain, cal, A.N.Mouse, johnny spar, derek bragg, rick calvin, ITSDAVE, Vix, ha, a dixon, ken hetherington, lady of barnet, tom, barbara sheffield, GLENN AYLETT, CHRIS, Andrew Parker, jay, Mark Lewthwaite, Ian Leech, pamela, Tom Adams, Shaun, beckem, Gary Dixon, sproaty, Tammy, tara, BARRY CLYNES, Sarah King, adrian, Katherine, spider mullet, Bob Cullen, Adam Richardson , Mark Sands, stevowelly, J.HURST, beat, john thomas, Angel, Dan, lynda, Micky, dave, jonny boy, s omeone, john yobousf, Eric Postlethwaite, keith meldrum, kb87, john stape, Paul, jam-eater, Sean Duffy, pad mono, beefcake, kevin preston, d wardle, SMELL, rupert bear, Kells Lad, mike jolly, j delph, some1, Vlad the apathetic, Dee, Casper, Mark Sikora, Maria, bern, john, emma, p bragg, woodhouseboys, Pete Irving, Elle, Haggis, ged, anonymous, Bob n Mark, v, Jack, Ryan, generic, Walker, emma louise, Mark, Digsy, Mike Turner, unlucky, JOE, r morris, Durk H. Hoekstra, JB, Micky Cuzalino, adrian holliday, Andrea, JANE, Lazybrowndog, Pharmd26, Trevor Crawford, Chocco, terri lepley, bob, jas

Last updated: 2016-11-29

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